It was like being on the red carpet when George Clooney shows up (Iraq rememberer)

 

"This chick, Ashley Dupre, is everywhere. I swear to God,

she won 'American Idol.' The last person to get this famous

for f------ some idiot was Kevin Federline." --Bill Maher

"Rudy Giuliani dropped out of the race. I will miss Rudy

Giuliani as a comedian. I will miss the arguments he had

with Mitt Romney. It was like a Halloween costume

debating a mannequin." --Bill Maher

"The good news is on YouTube, the Obama speech now is

getting watched more than the clips of the pastor. The bad

news is that it's still far behind the footage of Spitzer's

hooker on 'Girls Gone Wild.'" --Bill Maher

"The other guy who dropped out this week I have the

highest regards for -- John Edwards. That's his platform

that they are running on. He worked his ass off. He never

got enough oxygen with those two show ponies in the race.

It was like being on the red carpet when George Clooney

shows up." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Bush said this while wearing a flight suit while standing on the deck of an aircraft carrier (Girls Gone Wild as a medical expense)

According to a new study men are less likely to have a problem with their prostate if they masturbate at least 20 times a month. Which means you can write off Girls Gone Wild as a medical expense. --Conan O’Brien 4/15/2004

Today John Kerry went hunting for geese in Ohio, but President Bush said Kerry only did it for the photo op. Weird part is Bush said this while wearing a flight suit while standing on the deck of an aircraft carrier. --Conan O’Brien 10/21/2004

In Florida voting in the presidential election started two weeks early. Senior citizens are already reporting problems with the voting machines. Apparently these seniors are confused because when they pull the lever no quarters come out. --Conan O’Brien 10/21/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Brazil said they will spend 2005 getting their launching area waxed (Richard Simmons ended his hunger strike)

Interesting news. The state of Oregon is considering a bill that would make it legal to possess a pound of marijuana. In a related story Snoop Dogg has enrolled in the Oregon School of Nursing. --Conan O’Brien 7/7/2004

The country of Brazil announced that it will launch a rocket into space by 2006. Brazil said they will spend 2005 getting their launching area waxed. --Conan O’Brien 7/7/2004

This week the producers of Girls Gone Wild announced that they are coming out with a male version of the videos called Guys Gone Wild. Upon hearing the news Richard Simmons ended his hunger strike. --Conan O’Brien 7/7/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He was blind and he still wanted to see other people (lipstick on his shoes)

"The good news is on YouTube, the Obama speech now is getting watched more than the clips of the pastor. The bad news is that it's still far behind the footage of Spitzer's hooker on 'Girls Gone Wild.'" --Bill Maher

"This chick, Ashley Dupre,  is everywhere. I swear to God, she won 'American Idol.' The last person to get this famous for f------ some idiot was Kevin Federline." --Bill Maher

"New York's new governor, David Paterson, he made history this week. He's black, he's blind and he's hornier than the last guy. He hadn't taken his hand off the Bible when they swore him in before he admitted to having multiple affairs. See, this is what women don't get about the male sex drive. He was blind and he still wanted to see other people. And it's not easy having an affair when you're blind. He used to come home with lipstick on his shoes." --Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

mullet-on-mullet-on-mullet action (embarrassing pre-hooker days)

"There are technically now so many sex scandals in New York, it's hard for me to keep track of them. Are you having the same trouble? Every day you pick up the paper, there's a new revelation. This is the latest. Today, it was revealed that Eliot Spitzer's call girl, Ashley Dupre, appeared in a 'Girls Gone Wild' video when she was 18. Yeah, when asked about it, Ashley said, 'That was during my embarrassing pre-hooker days.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It's now being reported that the former governor of New Jersey took part in several threesomes involving his wife and his chauffeur. Yeah. So, it's your move, Eliot Spitzer. --Conan O'Brien

"It is true, though, the former governor of New Jersey has reportedly taken part in several threesomes. That's what everyone's saying. Or, as a threesome is known in New Jersey, mullet-on-mullet-on-mullet action." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats