Well, finally a reason to live in New Jersey (So, it sounds like somebody had a hell of a weekend)

"Oh, and New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine has signed legislation

making marijuana legal, huh? Well, finally a reason to live in New

Jersey." –Jay Leno

"Jerry Sanders, the mayor of San Diego, said this week his views on gay marriage have evolved over time. He said he used to be against gay marriage, but now he's in favor of it. So, it sounds like somebody had a hell of a weekend." –Jay Leno

"The American Civil Liberties Union is defending America's favorite restroom enthusiast, Senator Larry Craig. 'Mr. Urinal,' they call him. Remember, he's the senator who got caught soliciting sex in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport. Well, now the ACLU said that sex in a public restroom is considered private if the door is closed. That's something to think about the next time you're putting that tissue liner around the toilet bowl." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which means Trump could be the first president to appoint an actual federal bikini inspector (the pinkos over at NASCAR)

"Now, to highlight what a charade proper air pressure is, the McCain campaign has started handing out Barack Obama 'energy plan' tire gauges. You see? It's a great way to drive home what a ridiculous plan this is. Plus, it's an easy way to check your tire pressure, and that can save you a lot of money. That's not just me talking. The government's own website says that proper tire inflation can save up to 12 cents a gallon immediately. So thank you for the tire gauge, Senator McCain. And good work. You stuck it to all the left-wing nut jobs who advocate proper tire inflation. Radical liberals like your potential vice presidential nominee, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joe Lieberman, Triple A and the pinkos over at NASCAR. I have had my eyes on those guys ever since they had that car sponsored by the ACLU." --Stephen Colbert

 The article goes on to detail how Trump bragged about his sexual prowess, as well as his daughter's hotness, and had a preoccupation with women's bodies. Which means Trump could be the first president to appoint an actual "federal bikini inspector." –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How can you can see me when I can't see you? (Hindsight is 2020)

“Sarah Palin has now agreed to be the keynote speaker next month at a hunter’s convention in Las Vegas. Uh, Siegfried and Roy, if you’re listening, I would put those tigers in an undisclosed location." –Bill Maher

"Now, to highlight what a charade proper air pressure is, the McCain campaign has started handing out Barack Obama 'energy plan' tire gauges. You see? It's a great way to drive home what a ridiculous plan this is. Plus, it's an easy way to check your tire pressure, and that can save you a lot of money. That's not just me talking. The government's own website says that proper tire inflation can save up to 12 cents a gallon immediately. So thank you for the tire gauge, Senator McCain. And good work. You stuck it to all the left-wing nut jobs who advocate proper tire inflation. Radical liberals like your potential vice presidential nominee, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joe Lieberman, Triple A and the pinkos over at NASCAR. I have had my eyes on those guys ever since they had that car sponsored by the ACLU." --Stephen Colbert

President Bush addressed the crowd at the Republican Convention via satellite. The first ten minutes of Bush's speech consisted of him saying, 'Wait a minute, how can you can see me when I can't see you?'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush said that when it comes to hurricane preparedness, step number one is, quote, 'pray that there's no hurricanes.' Later President Bush admitted, yeah, that's our entire plan." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Y'all giving out free trips to Jamaica? (All Crocs are special)

Designer brand Yves Saint Laurent has released a new line of jewelry that includes penis earrings. Said lesbians -- "Ugh, earrings." --Seth Meyers and Jenny

The ACLU has filed a lawsuit on behalf of a Philadelphia-born man who says he was detained for three weeks while ICE agents tried to deport him to Jamaica. "Said black people -- 'Y'all giving out free trips to Jamaica?'" --Seth Meyers and Amber

Scottish Parliament officially changed the name of 'gingerbread men' to 'gingerbread people' to make them gender-neutral. "And that's great. But they leave crumbs everywhere and they don't wear pants, so I'm pretty sure they're men." Seth Meyers and Jenny

According to a recent article, a movie is in the works about the life of Rosa Parks. "The article was originally on the front page, but it was asked to move to the back." --Seth Meyers and Amber

Rapper Post Malone announced that he has designed a special pair of Crocs. "Said lesbians -- 'All Crocs are special.'" --Seth Meyers and Jenny

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Well how much without the barrel? (men's room/no speech)

"With the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, restroom enthusiast  Idaho Senator Larry Craig will argue before an appeals court that his foot tapping was protected speech. He's calling himself 'Lord of the Toilet Dance.' I'm all for free speech, except in the men's room. In the men's room, I believe in no speech." --Jay Leno

"It looks like oil may soon hit a $100 a barrel. And today,  President Bush said, 'Well how much without the barrel?'" --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

Schwarzenegger, Lieberman, Triple A and the pinkos over at NASCAR

"But there is no denying the president's a hard-core man of the road. Bush, of course, also holds the record for most presidential vacation days, 506 and counting. You know, between that and the travel days, I think it's clear there is something about being at the White House our president cannot stand. --Jon Stewart

"Now, to highlight what a charade proper air pressure is, the McCain campaign has started handing out Barack Obama 'energy plan' tire gauges. You see? It's a great way to drive home what a ridiculous plan this is. Plus, it's an easy way to check your tire pressure, and that can save you a lot of money. That's not just me talking. The government's own website says that proper tire inflation can save up to 12 cents a gallon immediately. So thank you for the tire gauge, Senator McCain. And good work. You stuck it to all the left-wing nut jobs who advocate proper tire inflation. Radical liberals like your potential vice presidential nominee, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Joe Lieberman, Triple A and the pinkos over at NASCAR. I have had my eyes on those guys ever since they had that car sponsored by the ACLU." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Daddy, can you get me into the Texas Air National Guard!? (Whoever she may be)

"The American Civil Liberties Union is defending America's favorite restroom enthusiast, Senator Larry Craig. 'Mr. Urinal,' they call him. Remember, he's the senator who got caught soliciting sex in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport. Well, now the ACLU said that sex in a public restroom is considered private if the door is closed. That's something to think about the next time you're putting that tissue liner around the toilet bowl." --Jay Leno

"Here's one of those philosophical questions. If  Fred Thompson stopped campaigning, how could you tell?" --Jay Leno

"One year from today, we will swear in a new president of the United States. How about that? And, as Hillary Clinton likes to say, 'Whoever she may be.'" --Jay Leno

Finally, some good news for Dick Cheney

"Scientists announced today they have been able to grow rat hearts in a lab. Finally, some good news for Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"Because it's a long, horrifying process to run for the nomination,  candidates often like to have fun on the campaign trail. And a couple of days ago -- this is great --  Hillary Clinton, while she was flying on her campaign airplane,  pretended to be a flight attendant. But that's not all. She was so convincing that Bill actually hit on her" --David Letterman

"The American Civil Liberties Union is defending America's favorite restroom enthusiast, Senator Larry Craig. 'Mr. Urinal,' they call him. Remember, he's the senator who got caught soliciting sex in the men's room at the Minneapolis airport. Well, now the ACLU said that sex in a public restroom is considered private if the door is closed. That's something to think about the next time you're putting that tissue liner around the toilet bowl" --Jay Leno

Darth Vader was dressed as Dick Cheney (Lord of the Toilet Dance)

"Dick Cheney had an awkward moment tonight at the White House Halloween party. He went dressed as Darth Vader and at the party, he ran into the real Darth Vader who was dressed as Dick Cheney." --Jay Leno

"With the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, restroom enthusiast  Idaho Senator Larry Craig will argue before an appeals court that his foot tapping was protected speech. He's calling himself 'Lord of the Toilet Dance.' I'm all for free speech, except in the men's room. In the men's room, I believe in no speech." --Jay Leno

"It looks like oil may soon hit a $100 a barrel. And today,  President Bush said, 'Well how much without the barrel?'" --Jay Leno