"Vice President
Cheney is on an extended tour of the Middle East. They love him over there.
They call him Lawrence of Arythmia." --David Letterman
"The Republican Party
is still dealing with the fallout from the Jack Abramoff corruption scandal.
The latest victim: Ohio Congressman and Three-Time World Comb-Over Champion Bob
Ney. Ney stepped down from his position as House Administration Committee
chairman this week while he's under investigation. That chairmanship goes to
the next highest ranking Republican on the committee, Representative Giant Pile
Of Jack Abramoff's Money." --Jon Stewart
"During the Senate
confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito, tempers boiled when Sen. Ted Kennedy threatened to subpoena records of the
controversial group Concerned Alumni of Princeton, and chairman Arlen Specter
had to slam his gavel twice before boredom was restored. " --Tina Fey
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