"Election in Iraq was
three weeks ago. Believe it or not, officials say it's going to be another two
weeks before they announce who won. Odd part is that the winner will be
announced by Ryan Seacrest." --Conan O'Brien
"New Jersey's having
a contest for a new state motto. One of the finalists is 'New Jersey: Come see
for yourself.' Apparently it narrowly beat out 'New Jersey: Come smell for
yourself'." --Conan O'Brien
"According to a new
poll, President Bush's approval rating, on the rise. Well, a lot of those polls
are phone polls. People are worried Bush is listening: What? I think he's doing
a hell of a job! Yeah." --Jay Leno
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