Bush, when he says he's 100% sure, he's always right (younger, hotter running mate)

"While President Bush was spending the holid­ays at his Texas ranch, he was clearing brush and a branch cut his face. As a result the tree was cut down and tortured by Dick Cheney." --Conan O'Brien

"Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff has agreed to cooperate with federal prosecutors. He could name up to 20 congressmen. When President Bush heard this, he said 'That's amazing. I can only name three congressmen.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump is reportedly considering running for president in 2008. Yeah, Trump said he'll choose a running mate, and then dump her for a younger, hotter running mate." --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush says he is 100% sure he was right to wiretap. 100% sure that he was right to wiretap. And you know Bush, when he says he's 100% sure, he's always right." --David Letterman