"Donald Trump as
President of the United States. I can't wait for the Washington monument to turn
into a condo." --David Letterman
"When they had to
book [Jack Abramoff], they emptied his pockets and Tom DeLay fell out. We're
learning more and more about this Abramoff guy. You know, before he was a
lobbyist, he was a Hollywood producer. So he went from Sodom to Gomorrah."
--Jay Leno
"President Bush was
clearing brush at his ranch when he was scratched by a tree. That's a switch, a
tree harming a Republican, when does that ever happen? I guess Bush has cut
down so many trees they're starting to fight back now." --Jay Leno
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