"Did you all see
Sandra Day O'Connor making the coin toss [at the Rose Bowl]? When President
Bush saw a Supreme Court justice flipping a coin he went, 'Hey, that's how I
got elected!' --Jay Leno
"You know how
sometimes during war time, civil liberties can take a back seat to national
security? Well, I got good news and bad news. The good news is this -- no
Japanese people are being sent to any camps. The bad news is, that time you got
hammered and drunk dialed your ex-girlfriend who's studying abroad and sang her
that WHAM! song that was 'your song' -- uh, the government's got that on
tape." --Jon Stewart
"Donald Trump running
for president. I blame George Bush. He lowered the standard." --David
Letterman
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