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Monday, December 26, 2016

If we can't leave New Jersey, neither can you (Gulp!!)




"Former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry has once again tested positive for cocaine. D.C. police said they suspected he was using cocaine when they found out he was Marion Barry." --Conan O'Brien

"This week, New Jersey voted to temporarily suspend the death penalty. Lawmakers say it sends a strong message to death row inmates: If we can't leave New Jersey, neither can you." --Conan O'Brien

"Last Thursday, the president tried to counter the growing criticism of his Iraq policy by gathering together 13 former secretaries of defense and state, a regular who's who of who's blown up what. Also on the guest list, Robert McNamara, defense secretary during the Vietnam era. The White House invited him to ensure that at least someone in the room had fu*ked up more than they have." --Jon Stewart


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