His cover-up may be better than my cover-up (Or, as Paul McCartney calls that, a divorce)

"As you know, we are in the middle of this writers strike here in Hollywood. It's already cost the town over half a billion dollars. $500 million. Or, as Paul McCartney calls that, a divorce." --Jay Leno

"Here's something odd about Iowa I didn't know. You'd think they'd be conservative. They decided to not to ban sex in public places. It is actually legal to have sex in public places in Iowa. See, they will do anything to keep that Democratic caucus there." --Jay Leno

"As you may have heard, earlier this week, the price of oil closed at $100 a barrel. You see, I don't think President Bush really understands this issue. In fact, when they asked him what effect this would have on average Americans, President Bush said it wouldn't have much effect at all. He said, 'Most Americans buy their oil in little cans.'" --Jay Leno