"Dick Cheney had
another scare. He was taken to the hospital with shortness of breath. He was
okay, he was just winded from torturing a detainee." --David Letterman
"Because of the Jack
Abramoff and Duke Cunningham bribery scandals, Republicans in Congress are now
putting together what they are calling a sweeping lobbying reform package. They
think it's such a good idea that they're going to charge companies a million
dollars to sponsor it." --Jay Leno
"This Jack Abramoff
guy allegedly bribed congressmen on issues ranging from wireless phone service
to internet gambling. This guy was really up to date on technology. In fact,
before he was indicted, he had a deal going with the home shopping network for
people to be able to buy a congressman online." --Jay Leno
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