During
the debate, the candidates mentioned the middle class eleven times. Once for
each remaining member of the middle class. –Seth Meyers
Today
is National Take Your Parents to Lunch Day. Or as it’s also known, National
Apologize to the Waiter Day. –Seth Meyers
Police
in New Jersey have announced that they have seized more than 11 pounds of
cocaine someone tried to ship through the mail. Authorities became suspicious
when the mailman left a note saying he attempted delivery at 9:30, 9:41, 9:52,
10:07, 10:20, 10:27. –Seth Meyers
Turned
out it was the highest-rated debate for the Democrats ever. More than 15
million people tuned in to watch Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and the three
high school principals they invited to fill out the stage. –Jimmy Kimmel
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