She doesn’t dance to "Cherry Pie," she gives you the recipe for it

In New York, a 100-year-old woman still works 11 hours a day, six days a week. The bad news is, she’s a stripper. She doesn’t dance to "Cherry Pie," she gives you the recipe for it. –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump is now trying to appeal to Southerners. Yeah, he’s been touring the South and pointing to his hair, saying "How y’all like my critter?" –Conan O’Brien

Canada’s new Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau, once put on a striptease show for charity. In Canada, a strip tease just means unzipping your outer layer of fleece. –Conan O’Brien