Cubs fans haven’t been this disappointed since every moment of their lives

The Cubs are on the verge of being eliminated from the National League playoffs. Cubs fans haven’t been this disappointed since every moment of their lives. –Conan O’Brien

Today is "Back to the Future" Day. It’s the day Marty McFly traveled forward in time only to find out the most important thing to people in 2015 is movies from the '80s. –Conan O’Brien

Joe Biden announced he is not running for president. And so, as promised, Hillary Clinton immediately released his dog. –Conan O’Brien