Former
President George W. Bush yesterday spoke to voters on his brother’s behalf, and
told them “one reason Jeb is going to win is because he’s a fierce competitor.”
Adding, “And one reason he’s going to lose is because of me." –Seth Meyers
The
U.S. Air Force announced today their new model of stealth bomber will cost half
a billion dollars each. And, even worse, it uses a different charger than the
old model. –Seth Meyers
A
shocking investigation has found that after testing 75 brands of hot dogs, 2
percent of them contained human DNA. Some of those hot dogs are actually hot
Dougs. –Stephen Colbert
The report doesn't specify the source of the
human DNA. Is it hair? Is it fingernails? Did a lonely factory worker stay late
one night and seduce a sausage casing machine? Could your pig in a blanket have
a bun in the oven? This news completely changes America's love affair with the
all-beef frank. Or should I say the all-Frank beef? –Stephen Colbert
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