There's a guy in a dress named Francis here to see you

While visiting America, Pope Francis secretly met with Kim Davis, the county clerk who denied marriage licenses to gay couples. At first she refused to meet with the Pope because she was told, “There's a guy in a dress named Francis here to see you.” –Conan O’Brien

Donald Trump's wife, an immigrant from Slovenia, says she lets Trump be himself. She said, in return, he lets me be in America. –Conan O’Brien

Governor Bobby Jindal's presidential campaign is angrily insisting that the "Duck Dynasty" cast supports him and not Donald Trump. And that is the current report on the state of the Bobby Jindal campaign. –Conan O’Brien

Tesla has debuted a new car which is equipped with a device that instantly clears the air of toxins. Basically you activate it when you're driving behind a Volkswagen. –Conan O’Brien