New
Jersey Governor Chris Christie has declared a state of emergency in preparation
for Hurricane Joaquin. And Donald Trump declared a state of emergency as soon
as he heard the name “Joaquin.” –Seth Meyers
A
processing company that supplies chicken to KFC was fined this week after an
employee lost two fingertips while on the job. Which explains their new slogan,
“It’s Finger Losin’ Good!” –Seth Meyers
Oregon’s
recreational marijuana shops began selling to the public today. Experts expect
it to be a big hit, followed by a bunch of coughing. –Seth Meyers
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