eight-pound block of peanut brittle

Chris Christie was kicked out of the Amtrak quiet car for making too much noise. Christie said it wasn’t him that was making the noise, it was his eight-pound block of peanut brittle. –Conan O’Brien

A cracker that survived the sinking of the Titanic sold today for $23,000. Experts say the 100-year-old Titanic cracker pairs very well with any hot dog from 7-Eleven. –Conan O’Brien

There is a new innovation poised to change life as we know it. Domino's Pizza has invented a delivery car with a pizza oven built inside of it. –James Corden

When I was a kid I was the wolf man every year. Every year I would put on a flannel shirt and glue some hair to my face and I was the wolf man. Now you can't get away with that. Nowadays you let your kid wear the same costume seven years in a row you will get a visit from Child Protective Services. –Jimmy Kimmel