The game is in Arizona this year so don't be shocked if the Republicans don't accept the result (Where do I go to get my reputation back?)

“So it's Super Bowl weekend that’s probably what you were excited about. The game is in Arizona this year so don't be shocked if the Republicans don't accept the result.” —Bill Maher

“A few days ago there was another balloon over Latin America. They shot it down and Candy fell out.” —Bill Maher

“The State of the Union Address, don’t worry you don't have to say you saw it. I didn't either. It's ridiculous this thing. The state of our Union is uncivil, that’s what it is. I saw the clips. Oh my God, Republicans you know, Biden's trying to make a speech. They act like it's a bachelorette party at a comedy club. Marjorie Taylor Green screaming and shouting and yelling and heckling and booing. It's the State of the Union not The Rocky Horror Picture Show you dumbass.” —Bill Maher

The FBI has said that is was probably a lab leak that was responsible for the Covid outbreak. The manager at the Wuhan bat on a stick today said, ‘Where do I go to get my reputation back?’” —Bill Maher

“Republicans have taken over the house now, so the Ethics Committee they're investigating AOC because of that dress she wore at the Met Gala. Remember that Tax The Rich dress? There's something about improper gifts or whatever it is. Younger viewers who are watching this show might need to know that this is not the first time the Democrats have had a scandal that involved a dress with something on it.” —Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Protecting this in-between area, this no man’s land. It’s a very sensitive zone. (8mm dilated)

February 2023

“Those balloons, I appreciate how we’re not ruling anything out, but we’re shooting everything down. Is it a kite? Is it aliens? Is it the old man from Up? Who cares! We’ll figure it out when we sift through the wreckage. The three UFOs were detected once the government adjusted the radar settings to be more sensitive, and once they did that, they realized there’s all kinds of shit flying up, all the time, everywhere. It’s like when you start paying attention to what ingredients are in your food and realize like everything has guar gum in it. What’s guar gum? Where was the Space Force? Isn’t dealing with UFOs their thing? They’re in this like weird in-between zone between the sky and space. It’s like the Earth’s taint. Really, what we need is a taint zone to protect this in-between area, this no man’s land. It’s a very sensitive zone.” —Sarah Silverman

“The Super Bowl festivities, included the confirmation that Rihanna is pregnant with her second child minutes after her half-time show. If you’re one of those 19 million people who called in sick to work today – Rihanna last night had a nine-month-old in her dressing room, she was 8mm dilated, and she still managed to get out there and do her job.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

yelling at the bus driver because he refused to drop her off at the racetrack (You can do that with a thumb tack and a straw)

February 2023

“At one point during the State of the Union, President Biden criticized some Republicans for threatening to cut social security and Medicare to balance the federal budget, Marjorie Taylor Greene stood up and shouted ‘liar!’ at the president. In a split screen with these two, I’m definitely less inclined to believe the lady who’s dressed like she’s leaving her entire fortune to her cat. Greene looked like a crazy person yelling at the bus driver because he refused to drop her off at the racetrack.” —Seth Meyers

“The Super Bowl may have taken place on Sunday evening, but by Monday afternoon, we are ready to focus on America’s other national pastime: being scared of giant balloons after three unidentified flying objects were downed by the US military in as many days. The suspicious objects were detected days after the US military tracked a Chinese spy balloon across the country and destroyed it off the coast of South Carolina. Just a reminder: we spend almost $800 Billion a year on defense, and we used it to pop a balloon. You can do that with a thumb tack and a straw.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know who would love some inflation? (Parts of me are Incredible)

February 2023

“After the US military shot down a suspected Chinese spy balloon over the Atlantic, President Biden’s State of the Union is his balloon assassination victory lap. You know who would love some inflation? That spy balloon, b*tch!” —Seth Meyers

“Jill Biden attended Tuesday’s address with a special guest, U2’s Bono. I gotta say, I love that she’s using the office of first lady to tick off her bucket list. She was at the Grammys, she’s going to the Super Bowl, now she’s hanging out with Bono. If Biden gets re-elected, she’s going to get the gang together for one last heist.” —Seth Meyers

“Meanwhile, the Pentagon said on Monday that the military failed to detect three Chinese spy balloons over US airspace during the Trump administration due to an ‘awareness gap’, and because after the eclipse, Trump wasn’t allowed to look in the sky any more.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Do we really need the fighter jets to turn this thing into the world’s saddest used condom? (rub the balloon on Bernie Sanders and stick it to Canada)

February 2023

“President Biden had the Air Force shoot down the Chinese balloon. Poor Joe Biden. Obama got to order the assassination of Bin Laden, and all he gets to do is murder a bag of helium.” —Chelsea Handler

“President Biden ordered the balloon shot down over water, accomplished by a single missile fired from a F-22 Raptor fighter jet that took off from Langley air force base in Virginia. As usual, America went haywire and brought out way too much firepower to address this problem. Was that really necessary? Couldn’t we have just hired another hot air balloon to float by and shoot it with a BB gun? Or just waited for it to get stuck in a ceiling fan? Do we really need the fighter jets to turn this thing into the world’s saddest used condom?” —Chelsea Handler

“Instead of a medal, the pilot who popped the Chinese balloon got to pick any stuffed animal on the top shelf. The US didn’t really have a choice – the only other option was to rub the balloon on Bernie Sanders and stick it to Canada.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Sunday’s Grammy awards, lasted nearly four hours. That’s dangerous, because every CBS viewer knows that if it lasts longer than four hours, they should call their doctor.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It went so well, Biden let him pick a couple of classified documents out of a bowl (Bad news for China, it’s a girl)

February 2023

Earlier today, an American fighter jet shot down a suspected Chinese surveillance balloon that had been spotted crossing into the United States, officially ending history’s most complicated gender reveal party. Bad news for China, it’s a girl. —Colin Jost

Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy, seen here wanting to know if you or someone you love has been injured in a car accident, met in person with President Biden about the debt ceiling and said they had a good conversation. It went so well, Biden let him pick a couple of classified documents out of a bowl. —Colin Jost

Florida has proposed legislation that would allow residents to carry firearms without a permit. Also, everyone gets to do one murder. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”