Do we really need the fighter jets to turn this thing into the world’s saddest used condom? (rub the balloon on Bernie Sanders and stick it to Canada)

February 2023

“President Biden had the Air Force shoot down the Chinese balloon. Poor Joe Biden. Obama got to order the assassination of Bin Laden, and all he gets to do is murder a bag of helium.” —Chelsea Handler

“President Biden ordered the balloon shot down over water, accomplished by a single missile fired from a F-22 Raptor fighter jet that took off from Langley air force base in Virginia. As usual, America went haywire and brought out way too much firepower to address this problem. Was that really necessary? Couldn’t we have just hired another hot air balloon to float by and shoot it with a BB gun? Or just waited for it to get stuck in a ceiling fan? Do we really need the fighter jets to turn this thing into the world’s saddest used condom?” —Chelsea Handler

“Instead of a medal, the pilot who popped the Chinese balloon got to pick any stuffed animal on the top shelf. The US didn’t really have a choice – the only other option was to rub the balloon on Bernie Sanders and stick it to Canada.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Sunday’s Grammy awards, lasted nearly four hours. That’s dangerous, because every CBS viewer knows that if it lasts longer than four hours, they should call their doctor.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”