just because you went for a long time, doesn’t mean you did a good job (that's how they got O.J.)

Gen-Z icon Kyle Rittenhouse is petitioning the court for the return of his rifle so he can destroy it. I don’t know, be careful Kyle. Trying to get your memorabilia back is how they got O.J. —Colin Jost

President Biden marked the end of his first year in office with a two hour press conference. Because that’s how long it took to list everything that’s gone wrong. But as I have been told many times before, just because you went for a long time, doesn’t mean you did a good job. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And, fun fact, if an American flag and a diaper are struck by lightning they create a Sean Hannity (The Keanu Reeves Three-fold Path)

Gen-Z icon Kyle Rittenhouse is petitioning the court for the return of his rifle so he can destroy it. I don’t know, be careful Kyle. Trying to get your memorabilia back is how they got O.J. —Colin Jost

A man in Ohio was seen protesting stay-at-home orders while wearing an American flag and a diaper said the man, "We need to reopen the oooo-conomy.” And, fun fact, if an American flag and a diaper are struck by lightning they create a Sean Hannity. —Colin Jost

M&M’s announced that they’ve redesigned their iconic M&M characters after people requested that the brown M&M not look like a teacher that has sex with her students. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

just because you went for a long time, doesn’t mean you did a good job (that's how they got O.J.)

January 2022

President Biden marked the end of his first year in office with a two hour press conference. Because that’s how long it took to list everything that’s gone wrong. But as I have been told many times before, just because you went for a long time, doesn’t mean you did a good job. —Colin Jost

M&M’s announced that they’ve redesigned their iconic M&M characters after people requested that the brown M&M not look like a teacher that has sex with her students. —Colin Jost

Gen-Z icon Kyle Rittenhouse is petitioning the court for the return of his rifle so he can destroy it. I don’t know, be careful Kyle. Trying to get your memorabilia back is how they got O.J. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turns out, this whole time, the glass ceiling was up Joe Biden’s butt (we need them to run the country, not impregnate our women)

November 2021

“President Biden kicked off his birthday weekend with a colonoscopy. Doctors said there were no traces of malarkey. Everything looked good, or everything looked as good as the inside of an elderly man’s butt can look.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“White House physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor says Joe Biden is a ‘healthy and vigorous male.’ ‘Vigorous.’ Why does every presidential checkup sound like a Cialis ad? I mean we need them to run the country, not impregnate our women.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Glad he’s healthy, of course. Kind of hoping they’d find that he has that Benjamin Button disease — he’s actually getting younger every day.” —Stephen Colbert

“Personally, I’m grateful that on Friday, history was made because Joe Biden temporarily transferred power to Vice President Kamala Harris while undergoing a routine colonoscopy, making Harris the first woman to assume presidential power. Yes, 100 years after women got the right to vote, we finally got the first female president on a technicality. Turns out, this whole time, the glass ceiling was up Joe Biden’s butt.” —Stephen Colbert

“The Wisconsin jury found Kyle Rittenhouse, now 18, not guilty, but only a complete moron would celebrate this clear tragedy by making this guy a hero. Enter: Florida congressman Matt Gaetz, who tweeted NOT GUILTY!!!!!!! when the verdict was released. Of course, Gaetz has a vested interest in juries finding people not guilty, especially when it involved a 17-year-old crossing state lines.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I don’t know, maybe don’t tempt him? (We want our land back!)

November 2021

On Friday, Kyle Rittenhouse was found not guilty in the murder during two men during the Black Lives Matter protests. So hopefully he got all that shooting out of his system before he becomes a cop. —Michael Che

Protests are being held around the country in response to the acquittal of Kyle Rittenhouse, which is brave because Rittenhouse just got off for shooting protesters. I don’t know, maybe don’t tempt him? —Michael Che

Mel Gibson is reportedly in talks to direct a new Lethal Weapon movie. But if you want to see a broken down black guy team up with a handsome racist, just watch Weekend Update. —Michael Che

New research shows that before honey bees are killed by murder hornets they scream a rally cry to other bees who sadly just film the attack on their phones. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I think Biden’s got that covered all on his own (when yo momma got on the trampoline)

November 2021

Well, yesterday was a weird one for President Joe Biden. He went under anesthesia for a colonoscopy, and when he woke up, the house had passed the $2 Trillion social safety net bill, the Rittenhouse verdict was announced and a woman had technically been president for the first time ever. And while Biden was processing all of that, he was rushed off to pardon a turkey named Peanut Butter. I mean, come on. The guy just turned 79 today and half the country already thinks he’s senile. You can’t drop all that on him the second he comes out of the gas. —Colin Jost

Matt Gaetz said his office would be open to hiring Kyle Rittenhouse as a congressional intern because Gaetz has always loved teenagers who are willing to do terrible things. —Colin Jost

Steve Bannon, seen here ordering, “One new liver, please,” surrendered to the FBI on contempt of congress charges and said, “We’re taking down the Biden regime.” I hate to break it to you, Steve, but I think Biden’s got that covered all on his own. —Colin Jost

Arizona congressman Paul Gosar, seen here watching an interracial couple walk by, has officially been censured after posting a violent anime video that depicted him killing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. But I don’t know, he’s a 60 year old man who makes his own anime. When he heard he was getting punished he was probably like, “Is it nipple clamps? I just hope an octopus doesn’t do anything to me.” —Colin Jost

A man surprised to his girlfriend by bringing her onstage to propose to her during an Adele concert. Then they sat down and listened to an hour of songs about divorce. —Colin Jost

This week, the U.S. experienced the longest partial lunar eclipse in nearly 600 years. Scientists say the eclipse began when yo momma got on the trampoline. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it’s my solemn duty to pick up a rifle and protect that TJ Maxx (the most threatening weapon of all)

August 2020

“After this summer’s protests in the wake of the police killing of George Floyd, there was definitely a sense that this could be the moment of systemic change. But as we’ve been reminded of yet again, there is still a long way to go. Two police officers shot Jacob Blake seven times in the back, in front of his children, paralyzing him. 

In horrific cellphone footage of the incident, Blake appears to calmly walk away from the officers, who follow with their guns pointed; they open fire into his back as he opens his car door. I’ll never get used to how quickly police go from issuing commands to using deadly force. Whatever happened to warning shots? Or tackling a suspect? Like are we really meant to believe that the only two options a cop has is do nothing or shoot somebody in the back seven times? 

In the wake of the shooting, people have again taken to the streets in protest, which makes sense. Black people are tired of hearing ‘I’m sorry’ and then nothing happening. Because essentially what they’re really hearing is, ‘I’m sorry this is happening, and I’m sorry that it’s going to happen again.’ 

Look at the racist double standard in treatment and coverage of Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old white, self-styled ‘militia’ member who is suspected of involvement in shooting three protesters on Tuesday night, killing two. Despite carrying his assault weapon down the street afterwards, three cop cars passed him by; he wasn’t arrested until the next morning. 

Rittenhouse claimed on Facebook to be ‘defending a business’ but that’s some bullshit. No one has ever thought, ‘Oh, it’s my solemn duty to pick up a rifle and protect that TJ Maxx.’ They do it because they’re hoping to shoot someone. Enough with this ‘militia’ bullshit. This isn’t the battle of Yorktown. It’s a bunch of dudes threatening people with guns. 

The police treatment of Rittenhouse was illuminating, in that it really made me wonder why some people get shot seven times in the back, while other people are treated like human beings and reasoned with and taken into custody with no bullets in their bodies. 

How come Jacob Blake was seen as a deadly threat for a theoretical gun that he might have and might try to commit a crime with, but this gunman who was armed and had already shot people – who had shown that he was a threat – was arrested the next day, given full due process of the law and generally treated like a human being whose life matters? 

Why is it that the police decide that some threats must be extinguished immediately while other threats get the privilege of being defused? The answer, is clear: The gun doesn’t matter as much as who is holding the gun, because to some people, black skin is the most threatening weapon of all.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”