and Gruber fell from the tower (2026 JH2)

Astronomers discovered an asteroid that barely missed Earth and are calling it 2026 JH2. If it had hit Earth, it would have been called Oh, Sh*t! —Greg Gutfeld

ComicCon, the convention that celebrates comics, science fiction, anime, and gaming, is now coming to Abu Dhabi. The good news is terrorists won't have to blow themselves up to see 72 virgins. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

nothing has ever explained Fox News better than a rich white lady calling a homeless man Scrooge (Sweet Hot Capital City Mambo Sauce)

December 2021

After the tree outside Fox headquarters was set on fire by a homeless man, Fox News host Ainsley Earhardt said, ‘This Scrooge is not going to get away with it.’ And nothing has ever explained Fox News better than a rich white lady calling a homeless man Scrooge. —Michael Che

The CDC believes the Omicron variant first appeared in the U.S. during a recent anime convention in New York. Damn, the one time they leave the house. —Michael Che

After CNN fired Chris Cuomo, it was revealed that the former anchor has been accused of sexual misconduct just like his older brother. Well, those two are quite a pair, said Cuomo to a female co-worker. —Michael Che

A woman testifying in the sex trafficking trial of Ghislaine Maxwell, said that Maxwell told her that Jeffrey Epstein needed to have sex at least three times a day, and if not, he’d kill himself. —Michael Che

Kentucky Fried Chicken is testing a new dipping sauce called Sweet Hot Capital City Mambo Sauce. Coincidentally, Sweet Hot Capital City Mambo Sauce is also what Colin Jost calls rap music. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

Greetings from California, home of extra-crispy trees (At least we know that it’s not transmitted via eye contact)

December 2021

“Yesterday, we learned the first Omicron case on U.S. soil was found in California, which led the state’s secretary of health and human services to claim Californians were proud to have identified the first Omicron case. Good for you, Golden State. You put that kind of positive spin on all your disasters: ‘Greetings from California, home of extra-crispy trees.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Unfortunately, that’s not the only case. Today, a second case of the Omicron variant was identified in Minnesota. But do not panic — it’s just one person in America’s heartland, who recently traveled to New York City. OK, OK fine but maybe he was here on business, spent most of his time alone in his hotel getting takeout and staring pensively out the window at all the people he wasn’t infecting — right after he attended the 2021 anime convention at the Javits Center.” —Stephen Colbert

“That’s right, one of the first U.S. cases of the new Covid variant may be an adult man who attended an anime convention. I mean, which is good. At least we know that it’s not transmitted via eye contact.” —Trevor Noah

“But people, please remember this, we shouldn’t be surprised when we find more and more cases, OK? Because Omicron is like those microscopic bugs that live in your eyelashes: Even if you don’t see them, you know that they’re there. Yeah, laughing at you about all the spiders that crawl into your mouth while you sleep.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I think Biden’s got that covered all on his own (when yo momma got on the trampoline)

November 2021

Well, yesterday was a weird one for President Joe Biden. He went under anesthesia for a colonoscopy, and when he woke up, the house had passed the $2 Trillion social safety net bill, the Rittenhouse verdict was announced and a woman had technically been president for the first time ever. And while Biden was processing all of that, he was rushed off to pardon a turkey named Peanut Butter. I mean, come on. The guy just turned 79 today and half the country already thinks he’s senile. You can’t drop all that on him the second he comes out of the gas. —Colin Jost

Matt Gaetz said his office would be open to hiring Kyle Rittenhouse as a congressional intern because Gaetz has always loved teenagers who are willing to do terrible things. —Colin Jost

Steve Bannon, seen here ordering, “One new liver, please,” surrendered to the FBI on contempt of congress charges and said, “We’re taking down the Biden regime.” I hate to break it to you, Steve, but I think Biden’s got that covered all on his own. —Colin Jost

Arizona congressman Paul Gosar, seen here watching an interracial couple walk by, has officially been censured after posting a violent anime video that depicted him killing Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. But I don’t know, he’s a 60 year old man who makes his own anime. When he heard he was getting punished he was probably like, “Is it nipple clamps? I just hope an octopus doesn’t do anything to me.” —Colin Jost

A man surprised to his girlfriend by bringing her onstage to propose to her during an Adele concert. Then they sat down and listened to an hour of songs about divorce. —Colin Jost

This week, the U.S. experienced the longest partial lunar eclipse in nearly 600 years. Scientists say the eclipse began when yo momma got on the trampoline. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”