Because that's how you get demons (everyone will be watching)

October 2022

“There is a video of Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer hiding from the mob, relaying reports of rioters defecating in the Capitol. When I was watching this happen, I thought to myself it’s so interesting how people like Tucker Carlson were calling black people animals when the George Floyd protests were happening. But when these people were literally shitting in the Capitol, Fox was like, ‘These brave patriots are just expressing their frustration and standing up for American democracy!’ They’re not the animals? I can tell you for a fact that in Minnesota when shit was going down and people were raiding that Target, there was no black man who stopped in the middle of all of that and defecated.” —Trevor Noah

“As for Trump’s subpoena, I have one question: How are they only deciding on this now? Only now? It’s like doing a whole murder investigation and on the last day being like, ‘Should we, like, talk to the murderer?’” —Trevor Noah

“While most people assume Trump will not cooperate, but maybe the former president might feel conflicted. On the one hand, yes, he thinks this is a crooked witch-hunt that is out to get him, but on the other hand, the ratings. Can you imagine the ratings? This would be like the Super Bowl meets Watergate meets Game of Thrones meets a mandatory HR video about sexual harassment – everyone will be watching.” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Maybe he knows it’s parachutes, or maybe he thinks it’s the two guys from CHiPs? (Platitude Word Salad)

May 2022

“Mark Esper, the former secretary of defense, said Sunday night on 60 Minutes that former President Donald Trump suggested paratroopers begin shooting demonstrators during the George Floyd protests outside of the White House in June 2020. Esper referred to Trump’s request as ‘shocking.’ It’s almost impossible to believe, but in fairness, Trump said the same thing about Eric,” his son.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“It’s also somehow not surprising to me that Trump would specifically request paratroopers, although it also wouldn’t surprise me if he doesn’t know what that word meant. I mean, maybe he knows it’s parachutes, or maybe he thinks it’s the two guys from CHiPs.” —Seth Meyers

“In response to Esper’s interview, Trump told 60 Minutes: ‘This is a complete lie, and 10 witnesses can back it up. Mark Esper was weak and totally ineffective, and because of it, I had to run the military.’ Right, Captain Bone Spurs had to run the military for Mark Esper. And we know that’s a lie because unlike everything else he ran, the military didn’t go bankrupt on his watch.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Rudy Giuliani, Trump’s former personal lawyer, is backing out of an interview with the House January 6th committee at the last minute because he wanted to record it himself. “Why does he want to record the interview? Is he worried they’re going cut it together to make it sound bad? That’s what his brain already does to his mouth. Why do guys like Rudy always have some weird angle? Like thinking they’re some genius chess master calling their bluff by asking to record the meeting. But anytime Rudy has ever been recorded, it’s been bad for him. Giuliani, for instance, has been recorded calling a senator on the day of the insurrection to overturn the election results, and butt-dialing a reporter while discussing his need for cash. Rudy records himself saying incriminating things all the time. Before he talks to anyone, he should pat himself down to make sure he’s not wearing a wire.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They are planning to serve him with a job application (and in parentheses, Is A Myth)

October 2021

This week Instagram was down for an entire day, forcing many Instagram addicts to fill their time with Twitter, TikTok or hosting SNL. —Michael Che

Fox News turned 25 this week and they celebrated their birthday the same way I do by paying some white women to say some nasty stuff. —Michael Che

Harry Styles revealed that his 2019 song Watermelon Sugar is about the female orgasm. He also revealed the full title of the song is Watermelon Sugar, and in parentheses, (Is A Myth). —Michael Che

In the wake of R. Kelly’s sex trafficking conviction YouTube has removed two channels linked with the singer. One for his singing and the other about how to remove stains. —Michael Che

A statue of George Floyd that was on display in a New York City park has been defaced for the second time. People are searching for the suspect and are planning to serve him with a job application. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

if we investigate what happened on the sixth, they might have to plead the fifth (Tourists! What are you gonna do?)

May 2021

“The House voted today on legislation to create an independent commission tasked with investigating the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol. Republicans say a commission should only be established if it can investigate other protests, including the racial-justice demonstrations last summer following the murder of George Floyd. Right, good thinking. There’s got to be some way to blame Black people for this, and you found it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Some of these guys are also saying they want to ‘move on’ and not rehash the past. Right. You know, when a violent mob attacked our embassy in Benghazi, Republicans in Congress investigated it eight times. A violent mob attacks the U.S. Capitol, they’re like: ‘Tourists! What are you gonna do?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Basically, the House wanted to create a commission to look into what we all saw happen with our own eyes. Not surprisingly, Republican members of Congress are against this idea,” he continued. “Some of them are worried that if we investigate what happened on the sixth, they might have to plead the fifth.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And that can be the verdict that one day we can celebrate (Damn Shame!)

April 2021

“After 10 hours of deliberation, a jury in Minneapolis decided that it’s illegal for the police to murder people; that Black Lives Matter. And while this is a step in the right direction, there’s still a lot of work to be done. Too often, justice isn’t served, and the need for police reform remains. We all must continue to call out injustice until things change for the better.” — Jimmy Fallon

“Real justice would be Black Americans not having to live in fear of being stopped by police and killed, and surely that is a verdict that we need to work towards. And that can be the verdict that one day we can celebrate.” — James Corden

“I think we’re all grateful that it went the way that it did. In this case, the jury made the correct decision, a unanimous decision, which is a step in the right direction. And I hope the verdict itself brings comfort to the family of George Floyd and all those who mourn his death. And I also want to say, ‘Good luck in prison, Derek, you’ll need it.’ That’s right. I hope you’re there for a very long time.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

369 people in the last 115 days (justice for all America)

April 2021

“After 10 hours of deliberation, a jury in Minneapolis decided that it’s illegal for the police to murder people; that Black Lives Matter. It’s hard to celebrate, because a man is still dead, but there is a sense of relief that at least this one injustice was not compounded with indifference. And it could easily have gone the other way. No matter what you saw on that tape, this nation does not have a great track record on this subject. But at least in this case, this man faces accountability.” — Stephen Colbert

“But justice is a far more difficult goal. America still has a problem of over-policing and systemic racism, but hopefully this is a step toward a future where police being held accountable for their actions isn’t headline material, and a hope that accountability today is a deterrent for tomorrow.” — Stephen Colbert

“Today is one stop on a journey that began last May and led to protests calling for that accountability in every town and every city in America. But this is just one stop. There is more work to be done, and it’s work that all of us should be committed to, because as Ben Crump, the Floyd family lawyer, reminded us today, justice for Black America is justice for all America.” — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing

July 2012

"During last night's USA-Brazil basketball game, President Obama gave Michelle a kiss when they were shown on the kiss cam. That's cute. It explains why everyone was like, 'quick, put him on the fix the economy cam!'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin hasn't yet received an invitation to the Republican Convention. I don't think she should feel bad. A lot of Republicans aren't excited that Mitt Romney is going." –Jay Leno

"Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the uniforms, and it's an embarrassment and a disgrace. Not as embarrassing as congress constantly borrowing money from the Chinese, but still embarrassing." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s the same deal I have with CBS (he made all the guests climb over the fence to get in)

May 2012

"It's weird to me what Obama chose to fabricate in his memoir. It wasn't something cool he made up, like hitting six home runs in a little league game, or faking his own birth certificate. No, it was something lame. He just compressed the details of several girlfriends into one character. I'm thinking, oh, very smooth. Because if there's one thing I know that women love, it's being blurred together with other women." –Craig Ferguson

"President Obama hosts an early Cinco de Mayo White House party today. I thought it was weird when he made all the guests climb over the fence to get in." –Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, did you guys hear about this? Last week, the brakes on President Obama's limousine were apparently damaged while he was in Georgia. Yeah, Obama tried to call AAA, while Biden tried to call the Geico gecko." –Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama has promised now that we'll be out of Afghanistan by 2024. That’s just right around the corner. That’s the same deal I have with CBS." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

it’s my solemn duty to pick up a rifle and protect that TJ Maxx (the most threatening weapon of all)

August 2020

“After this summer’s protests in the wake of the police killing of George Floyd, there was definitely a sense that this could be the moment of systemic change. But as we’ve been reminded of yet again, there is still a long way to go. Two police officers shot Jacob Blake seven times in the back, in front of his children, paralyzing him. 

In horrific cellphone footage of the incident, Blake appears to calmly walk away from the officers, who follow with their guns pointed; they open fire into his back as he opens his car door. I’ll never get used to how quickly police go from issuing commands to using deadly force. Whatever happened to warning shots? Or tackling a suspect? Like are we really meant to believe that the only two options a cop has is do nothing or shoot somebody in the back seven times? 

In the wake of the shooting, people have again taken to the streets in protest, which makes sense. Black people are tired of hearing ‘I’m sorry’ and then nothing happening. Because essentially what they’re really hearing is, ‘I’m sorry this is happening, and I’m sorry that it’s going to happen again.’ 

Look at the racist double standard in treatment and coverage of Kyle Rittenhouse, the 17-year-old white, self-styled ‘militia’ member who is suspected of involvement in shooting three protesters on Tuesday night, killing two. Despite carrying his assault weapon down the street afterwards, three cop cars passed him by; he wasn’t arrested until the next morning. 

Rittenhouse claimed on Facebook to be ‘defending a business’ but that’s some bullshit. No one has ever thought, ‘Oh, it’s my solemn duty to pick up a rifle and protect that TJ Maxx.’ They do it because they’re hoping to shoot someone. Enough with this ‘militia’ bullshit. This isn’t the battle of Yorktown. It’s a bunch of dudes threatening people with guns. 

The police treatment of Rittenhouse was illuminating, in that it really made me wonder why some people get shot seven times in the back, while other people are treated like human beings and reasoned with and taken into custody with no bullets in their bodies. 

How come Jacob Blake was seen as a deadly threat for a theoretical gun that he might have and might try to commit a crime with, but this gunman who was armed and had already shot people – who had shown that he was a threat – was arrested the next day, given full due process of the law and generally treated like a human being whose life matters? 

Why is it that the police decide that some threats must be extinguished immediately while other threats get the privilege of being defused? The answer, is clear: The gun doesn’t matter as much as who is holding the gun, because to some people, black skin is the most threatening weapon of all.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I guess he just misses walking out to a large crowd that he hasn’t teargassed (we’ve gotta remember this guy!)

“This week, demonstrators removed a statue of Jefferson Davis, the Confederate president, in Richmond, Virginia, and the House speaker, Nancy Pelosi, called on Congress to remove 11 Confederate statues at the Capitol. Why did Congress have Confederate statues in the first place? I mean, the Confederacy fought against America, so why would you have statues of them in America’s Capitol building? That makes no sense. It’s like white ladies having statues of gluten in their kitchen.” —Trevor Noah

“It’s a little insane how it feels like the government treats actual traitors better than black citizens. George Floyd maybe had a $20 bill that was counterfeit – he gets choked to death. The president of the Confederacy was responsible for half a million dead Americans, and the response is, ‘Let’s ask the quarry for the finest piece of marble, we’ve gotta remember this guy!’” —Trevor Noah

“Meanwhile, Trump’s campaign has planned a bus tour of several states despite the risks of coronavirus spreading in mass gatherings. I guess he just misses walking out to a large crowd that he hasn’t teargassed.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

they didn’t ticket the people they ran over for scuffing up the paint job (FBI Surveillance Van)

“Protests have erupted in America’s major cities and small town, and to show how not brutally violent they are, the police have responded with absolutely brutal violence. It is horrifying that the authorities are beating, gassing and running over peaceful protesters. They’re so out of control, I’m surprised they didn’t ticket the people they ran over for scuffing up the paint job.” —Samantha Bee

“Moreover, abuse in law enforcement is rarely met with accountability. Derek Chauvin, the officer who killed George Floyd, had at least 17 prior complaints against him. I don’t know the right number of complaints it should take to get a police officer fired, but it definitely should not be more than the number of stamps to get a free smoothie at Jamba Juice. And of the more than 2,600 misconduct complaints against Minneapolis police officers since 2012, only 12 resulted in an officer being disciplined.” —Samantha Bee

“There’s a point where you have to ask yourself, can it even be reformed? One bad flight, and you’re like ‘maybe we can make air travel better.’ But if every flight you take ends up in the Hudson River, you might think it’s time to defund Spirit Airlines.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

a heroic contemplation of the possibility of leadership (I’m thinking about having a dream)

“Meanwhile, Donald Trump’s approval rating has dropped to 38%, according to the latest CNN poll, and the president is ‘desperate to turn things around’, to the point where he’s reportedly considered delivering a speech to the nation on race and unity. Yes, they’re considering it – a heroic contemplation of the possibility of leadership. It reminds me of Dr King’s immortal words: ‘I’m thinking about having a dream.’” —Stephen Colbert

“While Trump contemplated, Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden spoke up, delivering a moving virtual eulogy for George Floyd at a memorial service in Houston on Tuesday. You see, President Trump? It’s possible to bring people to tears at church without having to release pepper spray. And the Vice-President did the one thing that the President fears the most: Biden didn’t mention the name Donald Trump once. Let’s hope very soon, we can all do the same.” —Stephen Colbert

“It makes sense that Trump doesn’t get it. He’s like a lot of soft-brained 73-year-old men who watch nothing but Fox News. Tucker Carlson is arguing on Fox News that America is ‘not a racist country.’ Right, but didn’t you want to build a wall to keep those immigrants out of … oh, nevermind. He’s right! America’s fine, we have no problems at all. Those people marching in the streets? They’re just getting exercise.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Polls show the majority of Americans support the movement (Good news…? It’s a start)

“On the resilience of the protest movement in the wake of George Floyd’s killing by police officer Derek Chauvin in Minneapolis. Polls show the majority of Americans support the movement; one poll found that support for the Black Lives Matter movement among Americans has jumped to 53% from 42% a month ago. So, just over half of American voters believe Black people have the right to live. Good news…? It’s a start.” —Stephen Colbert

“After three weeks of protests, “now it’s time to put our money where our mouth is…just as soon as we take the slave owners off the money. This moment of economic and social turmoil has offered America a tremendous opportunity, but to do what? There’s incremental reform, such as a bill introduced by House Democrats to ban police chokeholds. And there’s more radical reform, such as the popular call to ‘defund the police’, meaning to divert funding poured into police departments to other community resources such as mental health services, social services and education. Right now, because those other services have been under-funded for years, all of that eventually falls to the police. And that’s way too many things for them to be doing. It’s like in the Middle Ages: it wasn’t a good idea that your barber was also your dentist and your surgeon. And saying ‘defund the barber’ doesn’t mean no one’s getting haircuts —– although admittedly right now, no one’s getting haircuts.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it just means the color of your skin isn’t one of the things that makes it harder (what privilege?)

“I know a lot of white people bristle when they hear the word ‘privilege’, as in white privilege, because there are millions of white people who didn’t grow up with money or a good education or a solid family background, or maybe even a family at all. So when they hear the word privilege, they go, ‘what privilege?’

Like many white people, I felt defensive when he first heard the term, white privilege: I rejected it, because I didn’t understand what white privilege meant, thinking it meant people with a silver spoon like Trump, and not his upbringing.

But people who are white, we don’t have to deal with negative assumptions being made about us based on the color of our skin … whereas black people experience that every day. Imagine how frustrating it must be to have to prove yourself to be something other than what people assume you probably are every day, sometimes multiple times every day.

And now imagine what it must be like to be brutalized and killed and scared that those things might happen. What happened to George Floyd was on video – how often does this happen without a camera recording the whole thing?

So if you’re wondering why people are angry and why they can’t just march nicely in the street holding up the signs in a single-file line, maybe that’s why. White privilege doesn’t mean your life hasn’t been hard, it just means the color of your skin isn’t one of the things that makes it harder.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”