Every morning, you bench press a bag of laundered cash (Don't tase me, bro!)

"Mitt Romney wants to prove he's a regular guy, so he was someplace and he ordered a bucket of pheasant McNuggets." –David Letterman

"You know Condoleezza Rice? So she's down there in Washington, and she's on a TV show and they go with her to the gym. Condoleezza Rice, secretary of state, and they're watching her work out. Here's what it is, it's called the Republican work-out. Every morning, you bench press a bag of laundered cash." --David Letterman

 

"John McCain is leading in New Hampshire. McCain really, really wants to be president. As a matter of fact, it's number two on his bucket list." --David Letterman

"It's so sunny and bright outside that earlier today, Eliot Spitzer came out of a brothel squinting." --David Letterman

"During the argument between Obama and Clinton, security guards had to be brought in. You could hear Hillary screaming, Don't tase me, bro!.'" --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They will now be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter (OK, Tasers it is)

August 2021

“Guys, I saw that United Airlines has instructed its flight crew not to use duct tape when dealing with unruly passengers. Don’t use it, yeah. Flight attendants heard and were like, ‘OK, Tasers it is.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s right, United isn’t allowed to use duct tape, while passengers on Frontier Airlines will now be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Yeah, according to the memo, United is against using duct tape unless it’s holding up one of their engines. That’s where they draw the line.” —Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”