I just really like shooting arrows at people while wearing a diaper (but then everybody freaks out when I drink tequila at 8:00 a.m.)

Everyone says “The early bird gets the worm,” but then everybody freaks out when I drink tequila at 8:00 a.m. --Stephen Colbert

Call me a Valentine’s Day traditionalist, but I just really like shooting arrows at people while wearing a diaper. --Stephen Colbert

A president of the United States said, “You think our country’s so innocent?” Has there ever been a president who hates America more? I mean, besides Jefferson Davis. –Stephen Colbert

Donald Trump has a new phrase for all the possible upcoming investigations into his administration. Trump calls it “Presidential Harassment.” It’s like sexual harassment, only republicans take it seriously. --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey! What’s that word mean? (What really bothers them...)

January 2022

During a senate committee hearing Dr. Anthony Fauci was heard on a hot mic calling senator Roger Marshall a moron. Replied Marshall, ‘Hey! What’s that word mean?’ —Colin Jost

Delta Airlines said that this winter’s Covid surge cost them more than $400 in cancelled flights after 8,000 employees caught the coronavirus. Which would never happen to Spirit Airlines employees, because when you fly Spirit, they keep the windows open. —Colin Jost

Well, just like everyone else, President Biden’s New Year’s resolution feel apart in the third week in January. The Supreme Court struck down his vaccine mandate, the voting rights bill got blocked and his approval rating is so low it has gone into power save mode. But I will point out that there was another president who had a disastrous start to his first term, yet he became an inspiration to generations of republicans even to this day. I’m talking, of course, about Jefferson Davis. President of the confederacy, and there are still statues of him in ten states. Which, come to think of it, probably explain why the voting rights stuff isn’t working out. The bottom line is, I think Biden just needs more time. He might be more of an acquired taste. And unfortunately, most Americans recently lost their sense of taste. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

I guess he just misses walking out to a large crowd that he hasn’t teargassed (we’ve gotta remember this guy!)

“This week, demonstrators removed a statue of Jefferson Davis, the Confederate president, in Richmond, Virginia, and the House speaker, Nancy Pelosi, called on Congress to remove 11 Confederate statues at the Capitol. Why did Congress have Confederate statues in the first place? I mean, the Confederacy fought against America, so why would you have statues of them in America’s Capitol building? That makes no sense. It’s like white ladies having statues of gluten in their kitchen.” —Trevor Noah

“It’s a little insane how it feels like the government treats actual traitors better than black citizens. George Floyd maybe had a $20 bill that was counterfeit – he gets choked to death. The president of the Confederacy was responsible for half a million dead Americans, and the response is, ‘Let’s ask the quarry for the finest piece of marble, we’ve gotta remember this guy!’” —Trevor Noah

“Meanwhile, Trump’s campaign has planned a bus tour of several states despite the risks of coronavirus spreading in mass gatherings. I guess he just misses walking out to a large crowd that he hasn’t teargassed.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

JOKES: Has there ever been a president who hates America more? (Jefferson Davis)

Everyone watch the Super Bowl last night? Incredible. Full of surprises. The biggest comeback in Super Bowl history. Atlanta hasn’t been burned this badly since 1864. –Stephen Colbert

 The Falcons were running away with it. I almost turned it off. It was 28-3. Then in the third quarter, FBI Director James Comey announced he was opening an investigation into Matt Ryan’s emails. He claims it had no effect — I think it did. It rattled Ryan, clearly. –Stephen Colbert

The game is fun, but we all know everyone really tunes in for Bill O’Reilly’s interview with President Trump. Of course O’Reilly asked about the administration’s head coach, Vladimir Putin. [plays clip] O’Reilly: “Do you respect Putin?” Trump: “I do respect him.” O’Reilly: “Putin’s a killer.” Trump: “We've got a lot killers. What, do you think our country’s so innocent?” Ooh, I know that one: Yes! –Stephen Colbert

A president of the United States said, “You think our country’s so innocent?” Has there ever been a president who hates America more? I mean, besides Jefferson Davis. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html