It’s $500 for the night and No Kissing (“Finally, they’re gone,” said two Ken dolls)

A new poll shows that President Biden’s approval rating has fallen to an all-time low of 33%. For perspective, that’s less than half the approval rating of Sonic The Hedgehog 2. Sonic 2 features the characters Tails and Knuckles, which are also the names of two gang members Joe Biden claimed he fought in the 1960s. —Colin Jost

A video has also gone viral of President Biden finishing a speech in North Carolina and apparently turning to shake hands with an invisible person. Hey, her name is Kamala. —Colin Jost

JetBlue has made an offer to buy Spirit Airlines. Said Spirit, “It’s $500 for the night and No Kissing.” —Colin Jost

Two Barbie dolls were launched into space for the first time ever aboard the International Space Station. “Finally, they’re gone,” said two Ken dolls. —Colin Jost

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey! What’s that word mean? (What really bothers them...)

January 2022

During a senate committee hearing Dr. Anthony Fauci was heard on a hot mic calling senator Roger Marshall a moron. Replied Marshall, ‘Hey! What’s that word mean?’ —Colin Jost

Delta Airlines said that this winter’s Covid surge cost them more than $400 in cancelled flights after 8,000 employees caught the coronavirus. Which would never happen to Spirit Airlines employees, because when you fly Spirit, they keep the windows open. —Colin Jost

Well, just like everyone else, President Biden’s New Year’s resolution feel apart in the third week in January. The Supreme Court struck down his vaccine mandate, the voting rights bill got blocked and his approval rating is so low it has gone into power save mode. But I will point out that there was another president who had a disastrous start to his first term, yet he became an inspiration to generations of republicans even to this day. I’m talking, of course, about Jefferson Davis. President of the confederacy, and there are still statues of him in ten states. Which, come to think of it, probably explain why the voting rights stuff isn’t working out. The bottom line is, I think Biden just needs more time. He might be more of an acquired taste. And unfortunately, most Americans recently lost their sense of taste. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

My man, don’t be so modest (I need to re-evaluate my behavior)

December 2021

“If you fly Spirit, that’s the oxygen mask that drops down in an emergency.” — Jimmy Fallon, on a United Airlines passenger who wore a red thong on his face to protest mask requirements (and who later compared himself to Rosa Parks)

“Rosa Parks? My man, don’t be so modest — you’re more than Rosa Parks. If anything, you’re the Martin Luther King of white dudes comparing themselves to Black heroes for no reason.” —Trevor Noah

“A few minutes later, an air marshal walked over and gave him a mouth wedgie.” —Jimmy Fallon

“You know, for real, sometimes I think conservatives are right: America shouldn’t be teaching the history of racism in schools, because then at least white people wouldn’t know who to compare themselves to when they get kicked off airplanes for doing dumb [expletive]. ‘I’m exactly the same as — huh, I can’t think of anybody, you know? Maybe I’m just a [expletive] wearing panties on my face. I need to re-evaluate my behavior.’” —Trevor Noah

“And, by the way, can we all agree there’s no way this dude just starting sniffing thongs during the pandemic? I bet you he’s been going around for years like, ‘Looks like I got kicked out of the dorm because I’m once again the Rosa Parks of my sister’s friend’s underwear drawer.’” —Trevor Noah

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”