being governed by your inferiors (or, as that's also known, prom)

And get this -- I heard NBC is going to have four hours of coverage before the Kentucky Derby race. Yeah, four hours leading up to two exciting minutes, or, as that's also known, prom. --Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday on “Good Morning America,” Joe Biden said he is “confident” that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. Then he said, “Of course, I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know?” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So if you're looking for that perfect Mother's Day present, keep looking (You also won't find that staffer, either)

Yesterday, the State Department said that it can't find any emails belonging to Hillary Clinton's senior technology staffer from when Clinton was secretary of state. Then Hillary said (WIPES OFF HANDS), "You also won't find that staffer, either." –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday on “Good Morning America,” Joe Biden said he is “confident” that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. Then he said, “Of course, I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know?” –Jimmy Fallon

And listen to this. I heard that you can actually buy a jar of manure from a winning Derby horse for $200. So if you're looking for that perfect Mother's Day present, keep looking. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I knew one day we would reach a point where people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the first (any means necessary)

"While criticizing President Obama during an interview on 'Good Morning America' this week, Rudy Giuliani said, 'We had no domestic attacks under Bush.' You know, I knew one day we would reach a point where people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the first." -Seth Meyers

According to reports, Nike's new self-lacing basketball sneaker will only be released in men's sizes. Said women, "That's fine. We know how to tie our shoes." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

When your headboard is to close to the wall (Frodo needs a Gatorade!)

"While criticizing President Obama during an interview on 'Good Morning America' this week, Rudy Giuliani said, 'We had no domestic attacks under Bush.' You know, I knew one day we would reach a point where people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the first." -Seth Meyers

Hey, marathons, if I wanted to waste my day watching someone travel 26 miles by foot, I'd binge-watch "The Lord of the Rings." Frodo needs a Gatorade! --Seth Meyers

And, finally, a coffee chain in London said this week that it will allow stores to refuse caffeine sales to people under the age of 16, while a coffee chain in America just unveiled Frappuccinos for Babies. --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, just trying to make a decision that won’t ruin the rest of my life (I'll take 'Things That Dictators Do' for $500, Alex)

Just in time for Mother’s Day, Dove is selling body wash in six different bottles, to represent the different shapes of women’s bodies. Yep, it’s being called the perfect gift if you want to offend your mom. Good luck to the husband whose wife sends him out to buy her body wash. (WIFE ON PHONE) “Honey, you’ve been at CVS for over an hour, is everything OK?” (HUSBAND ON PHONE) “Yeah, just trying to make a decision that won’t ruin the rest of my life.” –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday on “Good Morning America,” Joe Biden said he is “confident” that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. Then he said, “Of course, I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know?” –Jimmy Fallon

I saw that Donald Trump’s daughter Tiffany will attend Georgetown Law School this fall. The president was so excited, today he said, “Congratulations to my non-Ivanka daughter!” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

She subscribes to the primitive belief that cameras will steal her crazy (We should have spent $75,000)

"The other day in Wisconsin, Sarah Palin gave a speech, and the crowd was searched to make sure there were no cameras. That's right. Yeah, according to experts, Palin subscribes to the primitive belief that cameras will 'steal her crazy.'" –Conan O'Brien

"In her new book, Sarah Palin claims that before John McCain chose her as his running mate, his campaign spent $50,000 on a background check. Yeah. When he heard this, John McCain said, ‘We should have spent $75,000.’" –Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin is everywhere right now. Have you noticed that? This week, Sarah Palin is going to appear on 'Oprah,' 'Good Morning America,' 'ABC World News,' 'Nightline,' 'Sean Hannity,' and '20/20.' During all her appearances, Palin will talk about how the media won't leave her alone." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Of course, I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know? (favorite puppet)

"Washington, D.C. has a new program that would pay residents $12,000 to move closer to their workplace. It's already a huge hit — in fact just today, 3,000 prostitutes moved in right across from Congress." –Jimmy Fallon

I saw that Donald Trump’s daughter Tiffany will attend Georgetown Law School this fall. The president was so excited, today he said, “Congratulations to my non-Ivanka daughter!” –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday, the State Department said that it can't find any emails belonging to Hillary Clinton's senior technology staffer from when Clinton was secretary of state. Then Hillary said (WIPES OFF HANDS), "You also won't find that staffer, either." –Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday on “Good Morning America,” Joe Biden said he is “confident” that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. Then he said, “Of course, I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know?” –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He went on to say he was so excited to be at Denzel Washington's inauguration (Surrender Vote)

January 2013

"During the inauguration, Good Morning America host George Stephanopoulos gave a shout-out to who he thought was Morgan Freeman, but was actually Celtics great Bill Russell. Stephanopoulos then went on to say he was so excited to be at Denzel Washington's inauguration." –Conan O'Brien

"During the inauguration, a teenage boy was spotted flirting with Malia Obama. At this moment, the boy is being flown to a remote location in Afghanistan." –Conan O'Brien

"Vice President Joe Biden was also sworn in for his second term today. Biden swore on the Bible to uphold the Constitution and to keep doing whatever it is I do.'" –Conan O’Brien

"Today's inauguration marked the first time ever a president used the word gay in an inauguration speech. It was the part of the speech where Obama pointed at the Washington moment and said, ''Whoever designed that thing must have been pretty gay.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

they have now put his picture on the side of cartons of goat's milk (Fair and Unbalanced)

"While criticizing President Obama during an interview on 'Good Morning America' this week, Rudy Giuliani said, 'We had no domestic attacks under Bush.' You know, I knew one day we would reach a point where people would forget about 9/11, but I never thought you would be the first." -Seth Meyers

"The White House said they're working even harder now to try and find Osama bin Laden. In fact, they have now put his picture on the side of cartons of goat's milk." –Jay Leno

"One of John McCain's former top campaign aides says that when he talked to Sarah Palin after McCain picked her to be his running mate, she said it was 'God's plan.' So, apparently, God wanted Obama to win." –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin has just signed with Fox News. So, now they're fair and unbalanced." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the media just won't leave her alone (In the Ground/Injured/Indifferent)

"Sarah Palin is everywhere right now. Have you noticed that? This week, Sarah Palin is going to appear on 'Oprah,' 'Good Morning America,' 'ABC World News,' 'Nightline,' 'Sean Hannity,' and '20/20.' During all her appearances, Palin will talk about how the media won't leave her alone." –Conan O'Brien

"Last week, an 11-year-old boy shot and killed a black bear that wouldn't leave his family's front porch. Right after that, Sarah Palin wanted to know if he would be her running mate for 2012." –Jimmy Fallon

"Liz Cheney said on Fox News that her father, former Vice President Dick Cheney, should run for president in 2012. In fact, that's apparently in the Mayan calendar too, you know. Cheney becomes president, and then the whole world ends. That's exactly what happens." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

I'd be honored to quit that job (George W. Bush Institute for Pretzel Safety)

"It was big night on television tonight. And instead of showing President Obama's healthcare speech that was on tonight, Fox aired its season premiere of 'So You Think You Can Dance.' I guess they wanted to give viewers a choice between hearing what's wrong with our country and watching what's wrong with our country." --Jimmy Fallon

"Hey, there's a lot of buzz about who is going to replace Diane Sawyer on 'Good Morning America.' Sarah Palin has expressed interest. She said, 'I'd be honored to quit that job.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"The University of Wyoming will open the new Dick Cheney Center for International Students. Cheney is planning on attending. He's going to take part in the ceremonial ribbon shooting. The Dick Cheney Center for International Students. It's just two buildings over from the George W. Bush Institute for Pretzel Safety." --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Fox & Friends denied that it was Halloween (a lie spread by Hillary Clinton)

To sway the election, Russian agents posted over 1,000 YouTube videos. But then even Putin was like "Oh, my goodness, these comments are so mean." –Jimmy Fallon

The hosts of the "Today" show dressed up as country singers. The hosts of "Good Morning America" dressed up as superheroes, while the hosts of "Fox & Friends" denied that it was Halloween. Yeah. It's a lie, spread by Hillary Clinton. –Jimmy Fallon

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know?

Yesterday on “Good Morning America,” Joe Biden said he is “confident” that Hillary Clinton will be the Democratic nominee. Then he said, “Of course, I also bet against the Mighty Ducks in all three movies, so what do I know?” –Jimmy Fallon

The Gap just reported a decline in sales for its fifth straight quarter, and analysts are saying they might have to close over 100 stores. But look at the bright side — if there’s one thing they know how to do at The Gap, it’s fold. –Jimmy Fallon

Employees at a Domino's Pizza saved a customer's life by checking on him after they didn't hear from him, because he's ordered a pizza every day for 10 years. No word on what was wrong with him, but I'm guessing it had something to do with ordering a pizza every day for 10 years. –Jimmy Fallon