"The administration now has a name for the war against
ISIS. Every military operation has to have a name so people can get behind it,
and they now have a name for the war against ISIS – Operation Hillary's
Problem." –David Letterman
"Vladimir Putin was nominated but did not win the Nobel
Peace Prize. Earlier today he said, 'Who do I have to kill to win a Nobel Peace
Prize?'" –David Letterman
"A lot of people have a three-day weekend because of
Columbus Day. In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue and 522 years later a lot
of people still get Monday off to celebrate. No one's received more credit for
getting lost than Christopher Columbus in the history of mankind." –Jimmy
Kimmel
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