"A new
study has revealed that the reading level of presidential speeches has dropped
significantly over the last 200 years. Or as Americans put it, 'Why dat?'"
–Jimmy Fallon
"North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un resurfaced yesterday
after more than a month out of the public eye. U.S. officials think that the
reason no one saw him for so long is that he was starring in an NBC
sitcom." –Seth Meyers
"On this day in 1912, President Teddy Roosevelt was shot,
declined to go to the hospital, and gave a 90-minute speech with a bullet in
his chest. Then on this day in 2012, I spent the whole day on WebMD because my
eyelid wouldn't stop twitching." –Seth Meyers
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