"Kim Jong Un has been out of the public eye and North
Korean officials say that it's because he needs a total of 100 days to recover
from his foot ailments. When asked what kind of foot ailments, they said
'liposuction.'" –Seth Meyers
"Over 200 airplane cabin cleaners at LaGuardia Airport in
New York have gone on strike over fears about the spread of Ebola. But then
they saw LaGuardia Airport and decided to take their chances with Ebola."
–Seth Meyers
"Bookmakers have listed Pope Francis as the odds-on
favorite to win the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize. So if you're placing a bet on the
results of the 2014 Nobel Peace Prize . . . you have a gambling problem."
–Seth Meyers
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