"After all the recent security problems at the White
House, Julia Pierson, the director of the Secret Service, officially resigned
yesterday. When asked what she'll do next, Pierson said she just wants to go
home and spend some quality time letting strangers in her own house for a
while." –Jimmy Fallon
"The head of the Secret Service, Julia Pierson, resigned
yesterday. We found out that she once worked at Disney World. She said she
preferred working at the White House because people didn't have to wait in line
to get in." –Conan O'Brien
"We also learned the new head of the Secret Service used
to work for cable company Comcast. So now intruders can only sneak into the
White House between the hours of 10:00 and 2:00." –Conan O'Brien
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