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Friday, October 31, 2014

Later in the day he was signed by the New York Jets




“Over the weekend another guy jumped the fence at the White House. This time he was tackled by three security guards. They released him and then later in the day he was signed by the Jets." –David Letterman




"Now that Vladimir Putin's gotten rid of daylight savings, it's just a matter of time before he decides to get rid of daylight altogether." –Craig Ferguson




"Former Florida Governor Jeb Bush said today that he has not yet decided whether he will run for president in 2016 — at which point Hillary Clinton took her foot off of his neck." –Seth Meyers





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