"New York state is spending $750 million to open a solar
plant in Buffalo, which will create thousands of jobs. Most of those jobs will
be shoveling the snow off the solar equipment." –Jimmy Fallon
"Nobody had seen North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un for a
week, then a month, and now six weeks have gone by and nobody's seen him. They
really started to get worried when he didn't show up at the Clooney
wedding." – David Letterman
"They're getting ready for Halloween at the White House.
The pumpkins they're carving came out of Michelle Obama's garden. She raised
the pumpkins, and the knife they're using to carve came from a guy who hopped
over the fence." –David Letterman
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