In fact, it's even a crappy tip (So apparently he's not going)

"Donald Trump says he has a big surprise in store for everybody at the Republican National Convention this year - a surprise he says people will love. So apparently he's not going." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney said he will not release any more tax returns. He said that he guarantees that he paid at least 13 percent every year. 13 percent? That's not a tax, that's a tip. In fact, it's even a crappy tip." –Jay Leno

"Thank you for coming out on a hot day. The heat has not let up here. It was 109 today in Los Angeles. I was sweating like a Medicare patient at a Romney-Ryan rally." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Rachel Maddow can connect Kevin Bacon to Russia in just two steps (Why the Revolutionary War had to happen)

Let me tell you something. Russia didn't make half the country poor or low income. Russia didn't render 63% of our residents unable to afford $1,000 emergency. Russia didn't make 29 million Americans not have healthcare. Russia didn't make medical costs the biggest reason for bankruptcies. Russia didn’t bury our citizens in debt. Russia didn't outsource our jobs. --Jimmy Dore 8/29/18 

You know, Rachel Maddow can connect Kevin Bacon to Russia in just two steps. --Jimmy Dore 6/14/18

Recently a study published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences suggested there could be as many as 11 billion planets capable of supporting life in the Milky Way alone. So if you feel like a meaningless speck, you may be on to something. —Jimmy Dore 1/29/14

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

While I have teamed up with alcoholism to give it a try (That’s adorable said cocaine)

December 2021

New York City will require all children over the age of 5 to show proof of vaccination before dining indoors or going to an entertainment venue, because if there’s one thing a 5 year old can do, it’s keep track of a small piece of paper. —Colin Jost

A new study finds that the regular use of marijuana may disrupt people’s sleep. That’s adorable said cocaine. —Colin Jost

It was reported that Sylvester Stallone will appear in a new TV series playing an Italian mob boss from Kansas City. In what is an absolute nightmare scenario for the Closed Captioning guy. —Colin Jost

Barefoot wine has teamed up with Oreos to create a line of red wine with hints of chocolate. While I have teamed up with alcoholism to give it a try. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

#1001Ways #RandomThoughts #poetry

 

That’s money that could be used to launch giant penises into space (new flavors of Oreos)

July 2021

“Some good and bad news regarding the pandemic. Covid cases have risen in all 50 states over the past week, as a highly transmissible variant spreads and vaccination rates drop off. On the plus side, scientists agree that the vaccine is up to the challenge of handling evolving variants. You hear that, pandemic? We can take whatever new stuff you throw at us! Do you have any idea how many new flavors of Oreos we’ve endured?” —Stephen Colbert

“Of course, the pandemic has exacerbated our pre-existing condition of extremely rich people. A Bloomberg report on super-yacht charters, reports yacht charters are up over 340%. This is disgusting. At a time of dire need, the ultra-rich shouldn’t be blowing their money on boats. That’s money that could be used to launch giant penises into space.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Pssst... We'll be safe in here (No, you get ready for school!)

New York lawmakers have proposed a new bill that would make baseball the state's official sport, replacing the current official sport, trying to urinate between two parked cars without getting caught. --Seth Meyers

According to a new study, the financial responsibility of having children reduces a person's happiness. But it's balanced out by the joy of your toddler telling you you're fat. --Seth Meyers

Nabisco is releasing limited edition "Game of Thrones" Oreos in honor of the show's final season. The way it works is, you eat seven of them, and then you have to wait three years before you can have another. --Seth Meyers

And finally, a brewery in Virginia is coming out with a new beer that it says tastes like Lucky Charms. Said customers, "No, you get ready for school!" --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That's the worst banana I've ever tasted (Moron, F***ing Moron)

This week the Bush campaign unveiled its new campaign slogan. the new slogan is, “We've turned the corner and we're not turning back.” This replaces their old slogan, “Do what Dick Cheney says and nobody gets hurt.” --Conan O’Brien 8/5/2004

Yesterday President Bush tried to appeal to voters in Iowa by peeling a raw ear of corn and eating it. Afterwards Bush said, “That's the worst banana I've ever tasted.” --Conan O’Brien 8/5/2004

The Israeli army is now treating combat stress by giving it soldiers marijuana. as a result Nabisco is expecting a huge spike in the sale of kosher Oreos. --Conan O’Brien 8/5/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”