It’s a five-day marijuana festival that lasts 10 days (And not 2,000 years too soon)

Pope Francis has announced new rules designed to change how the Catholic Church deals with abuse accusations. And not 2,000 years too soon. --Seth Meyers

A retreat called “Cannabliss” will take place next month in California. It’s a five-day marijuana festival that lasts 10 days. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turns out it was just Sean Hannity (Supreme A***ole)

Donald Trump also had his second physical examination as president. Close call, during the rectal exam, this is serious, doctors thought they found something serious up there. Turns out it was just Sean Hannity. --Bill Maher

Boy what a day of scandals. R. Kelly today was indicted on ten counts of aggravated sexual abuse. Prosecutors say the evidence is so overwhelming he was named Archbishop of Philadelphia. --Bill Maher

"Ted Cruz already is calling Obama the 'Imperial President,' which he sees as a threat to his title, 'Supreme A***ole.'" –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm afraid he'll make me look too innocent. I have to maintain some of my criminal mystique (And not 2,000 years too soon)

Pope Francis has announced new rules designed to change how the Catholic Church deals with abuse accusations. And not 2,000 years too soon. --Seth Meyers

According to The Wall Street Journal, during a recent informal four-hour practice session for an interview with special counsel Robert Mueller, President Trump's lawyers were only able to walk him through two questions. To be fair, No. 3 was when they started to get tough. "And what's your third child's name?" "Oh, no, oh. Oh, I'm screwed. I want to say it's not Barney." --Seth Meyers

Donald Trump does not want Robert Mueller to testify before congress. I thought you said Mueller exonerated you? Why don't you want him to testify? Meyers as Trump, "I'm afraid he'll make me look too innocent. I have to maintain some of my criminal mystique." --Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Because if it did, those candy bar commercials would be a lot different (someone’s been a busy...bigot)

Just because you complain about your country, doesn’t mean you don’t love it. It’s like sports: Fans want their teams to be better, that is why they complain, all right? If the Knicks kicked out every fan who yelled at them to play better, Madison Square Garden would be emptier than Mike Pence’s spice cabinet. --Trevor Noah

Some Republicans defended Trump. Kevin McCarthy, the House minority leader, said the president was tweeting out of frustration. Frustration doesn’t make you racist, all right? If anything, it just lets your racism slip out. Same thing with being angry, drunk, hungry — none of that makes you say racist things. Because if it did, those candy bar commercials would be a lot different. --Trevor Noah

I'm so glad that Jeffrey Epstein was finally arrested but how in the name of baby Satan did it take this long? Police started investigating Epstein for molesting young girls in 2005. That is 14 years ago. Jeffrey Epstein flouting of Justice is now old enough to be molested by Jeffrey Epstein. --Samantha Bee

Trump took a break from his "executive time" to do as many racisms as he could! Between his racist tweets and racist immigration policies, someone’s been a busy...bigot. --Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

people call me “White Lightning” because I also finish under ten seconds (Fine, i’ll wear a condom)

A new survey ranks the Boston accent as one of the sexiest accents in America. But keep in mind, the survey was conducted by Catastrophic Hearing Loss magazine. --Colin Jost, SNL

A student in Texas who is nicknamed “White Lightning” after he set a high school record by running the 200 meter dash in 9.98 seconds. Coincidentally, people call me “White Lightning” because I also finish under ten seconds. --Colin Jost, SNL

Doctors in Iowa have confirmed a dog disease that can be passed on to humans. Fine, i’ll wear a condom. --Michael Che, SNL

Pope Francis ended a Vatican summit by promising the Catholic church would confront the clergy sex abuse head-on. Instead of their usual way, face down, ass up.  --Michael Che, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Pssst... We'll be safe in here (No, you get ready for school!)

New York lawmakers have proposed a new bill that would make baseball the state's official sport, replacing the current official sport, trying to urinate between two parked cars without getting caught. --Seth Meyers

According to a new study, the financial responsibility of having children reduces a person's happiness. But it's balanced out by the joy of your toddler telling you you're fat. --Seth Meyers

Nabisco is releasing limited edition "Game of Thrones" Oreos in honor of the show's final season. The way it works is, you eat seven of them, and then you have to wait three years before you can have another. --Seth Meyers

And finally, a brewery in Virginia is coming out with a new beer that it says tastes like Lucky Charms. Said customers, "No, you get ready for school!" --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”