It’s not a great sign for Trump that even auto correct thins he belongs in jail (a bunch of time travelers showed up trying to kill him)

In a video on Truth Social, Donald Trump falsely said that democrats support abortion up to the ninth month and beyond. Saying, the baby is executed after birth. But he only thinks that happens because when Trump was a baby, a bunch of time travelers showed up trying to kill him. —Colin Jost

There was an actual error in the L.A. Times obituary for O.J. Simpson in the section about his prison time. Instead of writing O.J. walked out of the Love Law Correctional Center, they wrote, Trump walked out of the Love Law Correctional Center, a free man for the first time in nine years. It’s not a great sign for Trump that even auto correct thins he belongs in jail. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The crowd practically carried me out on their shoulders. Although I wasn't actually ready to leave. (Occupy D.C.)

 

"Best of all, I got to meet my main man, George W. Bush. I shook his hand -- very soft hands by the way. I delivered the closing speech. Needless to say the audience could not contain its excitement [showed footage of the audience looking bored]. Very respectful silence. The crowd practically carried me out on their shoulders. Although I wasn't actually ready to leave." --Stephen Colbert, at the White House Correspondents' dinner

"Speaking of Hillary, for those of you who turned on your televisions at 11:30, thank you. But you missed something special, Jon Stewart going mano a womano with Hillary Clinton. That's what we in the industry call a 'good get.' And I am so happy for him [on screen: Colbert breaks a pencil in anger]. You know what, he needs the exposure. I mean, who watches the Oscars? [on screen: Colbert breaks a pencil in anger]. Of course, Hillary missed out on the coveted Colbert Bump, which raised Mike Huckabee from afterthought to national contender, and lifted Mike Gravel from homeless to hobo. Oh, and Senator Clinton, the Colbert Bump has just been proven by science. Political science. In Thursday's Los Angeles Times, professor James H. Fowler of UC-San Diego presented his research that candidates who appear on 'The Report' receive 44% more money than those who do not. 44%! I have given more cash to these guys than Mitt Romney gave to himself." --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they were getting the crap hoped out of them (F for Fantastic)

"But there is some good news, nation. The Democrats are killing themselves. This week, on the liberal website Daily Kos, a civil war has broken out. Clinton bloggers are protesting what they feel is an abusively pro-Obama environment. Apparently, they were getting the crap hoped out of them. I read all 1,258 angry comments. 

Folks, I love when Democrats spend all their time in anonymous Internet feuds, anything to keep them off the 'Casual Encounters' section on Craigslist. Meanwhile, Barack Obama was on the defensive over his ties to controversial Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Yesterday, he responded with a speech on race. Press reaction to the speech was mixed. 

The New York Times compared it to addresses by Lincoln, FDR and Kennedy, and called it 'powerful' and 'frank.' While the Los Angeles Times compared it to speeches by Lincoln, FDR and Kennedy, but called it 'remarkable' and 'historic.' Oh, but every time I give a speech about how angry black people are, they call me a racist." --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

Right now this whole election seems like an alcohol-free Edward Albee play

"Hey, Senators Clinton and Obama, get a room where the two of you can yell directly at each other. Right now this whole election seems like an alcohol-free Edward Albee play." --Jon Stewart

"Speaking of Hillary, for those of you who turned on your televisions at 11:30, thank you. But you missed something special, Jon Stewart going mano a womano with Hillary Clinton. That's what we in the industry call a 'good get.' And I am so happy for him [on screen: Colbert breaks a pencil in anger]. You know what, he needs the exposure. I mean, who watches the Oscars? [on screen: Colbert breaks a pencil in anger]. 

Of course, Hillary missed out on the coveted Colbert Bump, which raised Mike Huckabee from afterthought to national contender, and lifted Mike Gravel from homeless to hobo. Oh, and Senator Clinton, the Colbert Bump has just been proven by science. Political science. In Thursday's Los Angeles Times, professor James H. Fowler of UC-San Diego presented his research that candidates who appear on 'The Report' receive 44% more money than those who do not. 44%! I have given more cash to these guys than Mitt Romney gave to himself." --Stephen Colbert 

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JusticeDemocrats #Bernie2020

they’re the only planes that can fit ALL of their baggage (swatting at planes)

Today, Bernie Sanders officially endorsed Hillary Clinton at a rally in New Hampshire. Hillary said she’s glad Bernie is behind her 100 percent, then Bernie said, “Let’s just start off with 1 percent.” –Jimmy Fallon

The L.A. Times just revealed that Bill Clinton has demanded private jets to get to speaking engagements. In their defense, Bill and Hillary need private jets 'cuz they’re the only planes that can fit ALL of their baggage. –Jimmy Fallon

The Washington Times is now reporting that Indiana Gov. Mike Pence has a 95 percent chance of being Donald Trump’s pick for vice president. I’m not saying Chris Christie’s upset, but he was last seen at the top of the Empire State Building swatting at planes. –Jimmy Fallon