"Best of all, I got to meet my main man, George W. Bush. I shook his hand -- very soft hands by the way. I delivered the closing speech. Needless to say the audience could not contain its excitement [showed footage of the audience looking bored]. Very respectful silence. The crowd practically carried me out on their shoulders. Although I wasn't actually ready to leave." --Stephen Colbert, at the White House Correspondents' dinner
"Speaking of Hillary, for those of you who turned on your televisions at 11:30, thank you. But you missed something special, Jon Stewart going mano a womano with Hillary Clinton. That's what we in the industry call a 'good get.' And I am so happy for him [on screen: Colbert breaks a pencil in anger]. You know what, he needs the exposure. I mean, who watches the Oscars? [on screen: Colbert breaks a pencil in anger]. Of course, Hillary missed out on the coveted Colbert Bump, which raised Mike Huckabee from afterthought to national contender, and lifted Mike Gravel from homeless to hobo. Oh, and Senator Clinton, the Colbert Bump has just been proven by science. Political science. In Thursday's Los Angeles Times, professor James H. Fowler of UC-San Diego presented his research that candidates who appear on 'The Report' receive 44% more money than those who do not. 44%! I have given more cash to these guys than Mitt Romney gave to himself." --Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
No comments:
Post a Comment