But lately we’ve learned that it doesn’t really matter what the majority of Americans want (an angry mob or a happy mob)

We’re just five days away from Super Bowl 51! And a new poll finds that the majority of Americans want the Atlanta Falcons to win. But lately we’ve learned that it doesn’t really matter what the majority of Americans want. –Jimmy Fallon

Sunday is also the Kitten Bowl on the Hallmark Channel. It will feature the Little Long Tails going up against their rival, a red laser pointer. --Jimmy Fallon

We are just three days away from Super Bowl LII, which means that we’re just three days away from finding out whether Boston will be burned down by an angry mob or a happy mob. --Jimmy Fallon

But it wasn’t all bad news for Cam Newton. He was named the NFL's Most Valuable Player at the NFL Honors on Saturday night. The ceremony went well, but it got weird when the Denver Broncos' defense took the award out of his hands and ran it for a touchdown. –Jimmy Fallon

Tom Brady said that he’s banned his dad from talking to the media after he spoke out against NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. Tom is so embarrassed, this Sunday he’s making his dad drop him off a block away from the Super Bowl. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

then he asked how long it takes eyebrows to grow back (I could never make it in the NFL)

This morning, North Korea claimed it successfully tested its fifth and most powerful nuclear warhead. Kim Jong Un called the test a major triumph, then asked how long it takes eyebrows to grow back. –Jimmy Fallon

"Officials in Iowa are facing criticism over a new law that lets blind people own guns. The law has actually received support from two major groups: the NRA and deer." –Jimmy Fallon

During last night's game between the Broncos and the Panthers, quarterback Cam Newton was spotted on the bench flossing his teeth. Weirdly, that was the moment dudes were like, “I could never make it in the NFL.” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wow, in that same time, I could have slept with Stormy Daniels…82 times. Maybe 90! (Don't you dare tell me how to freedom)

But it wasn’t all bad news for Cam Newton. He was named the NFL's Most Valuable Player at the NFL Honors on Saturday night. The ceremony went well, but it got weird when the Denver Broncos' defense took the award out of his hands and ran it for a touchdown. –Jimmy Fallon

After Peyton Manning was asked about his future, he responded by saying, "I'll drink a lot of Budweiser tonight." Which is why today, he signed endorsement deals with Tylenol, Gatorade, and a tattoo removal clinic. –Jimmy Fallon

I read that Trump's speech was over 5,000 words long. To give you an idea of how many that is, that's roughly the same word count as Adam Levine's chest. --Jimmy Fallon

That's right. Trump spoke for 82 minutes. He was like, [Fallon as Trump], "Wow, in that same time, I could have slept with Stormy Daniels… 82 times. Maybe 90!" --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Colin Cowherd lists all the quarterbacks he would rather have than Cam Newton

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

that was the moment dudes were like, “I could never make it in the NFL.”

Fashion Week is in full swing here in New York City. During one interview, Kendall Jenner made the comment that Hillary Clinton might look good in a jumpsuit. Then Hillary said, “Well, hopefully they never find those emails or it’ll be an orange jumpsuit.” –Jimmy Fallon

During last night's game between the Broncos and the Panthers, quarterback Cam Newton was spotted on the bench flossing his teeth. Weirdly, that was the moment dudes were like, “I could never make it in the NFL.” –Jimmy Fallon

This morning, North Korea claimed it successfully tested its fifth and most powerful nuclear warhead. Kim Jong Un called the test a major triumph, then asked how long it takes eyebrows to grow back. –Jimmy Fallon

In honor of Super Bowl Champion MVP Von Miller

Clay Brannon sacks the quarterback....

So, one way or the other, Chris Christie will be giving a victory speech

Not only was today the New Hampshire primary, it was also National Pizza Day. So, one way or the other, Chris Christie will be giving a victory speech. –Jimmy Fallon

Adidas is offering $1 million to any NFL prospect that can break the record for the 40-yard-dash. The current NFL record for the 40-yard-dash is Cam Newton leaving a press conference. –Conan O’Brien

Fox News slammed Beyoncé’s Super Bowl halftime performance because her backup dancers were dressed like Black Panthers, and now some Fox viewers are calling for a boycott of Beyoncé. So it looks like old white guys won’t be buying Beyoncé albums anymore. –Conan O’Brien

I just hope it doesn't go to his forehead

The Denver Broncos beat the Carolina Panthers 24-10, last night, to win Super Bowl 50. It was a great victory for Peyton Manning. I just hope it doesn't go to his forehead. –Seth Meyers

Peyton Manning said last night that he's not made a decision about retiring and will wait until he's less emotional to determine his future. Yeah, you shouldn't make any long-term decisions on the same day you voluntarily kissed Papa John. –Seth Meyers

the first time all day Cam was able to move and not get tackled

Cam Newton is under fire for ducking out of his post-game press conference early. On the bright side, it was the first time all day Cam was able to move and not get tackled. –Conan O’Brien

During the Super Bowl, Quicken Loans debuted a new app that lets people get a mortgage instantly on their phones by just tapping the screen. The app is called, "What could possibly go wrong?" –Conan O’Brien

For those keeping track, Peyton Manning kissed his wife after kissing Papa John. His wife was like, "That's so not cool," while Papa John was like, "Wait a sec — wife?!" –James Corden

the only Dabbing Cam Newton was doing last night was with some Kleenex

I want to say congratulations to the Denver Broncos, who beat the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50. The Broncos really stopped Cam Newton last night. In fact, the only Dabbing Cam Newton was doing last night was with some Kleenex. –Jimmy Fallon

But it wasn’t all bad news for Cam Newton. He was named the NFL's Most Valuable Player at the NFL Honors on Saturday night. The ceremony went well, but it got weird when the Denver Broncos' defense took the award out of his hands and ran it for a touchdown. –Jimmy Fallon

After Peyton Manning was asked about his future, he responded by saying, "I'll drink a lot of Budweiser tonight." Which is why today, he signed endorsement deals with Tylenol, Gatorade, and a tattoo removal clinic. –Jimmy Fallon

I mean, nothing!

Hillary is facing criticism for declaring victory in Iowa prematurely. The final results weren't actually announced till around 1 p.m. on Tuesday, but she declared victory back in April of last year. –Jimmy Fallon

After receiving less than 1 percent support in the Iowa caucuses, Martin O'Malley suspended his presidential campaign. In a related story, the New York Jets have announced that they've decided to not play in the Super Bowl this weekend. –Jimmy Fallon

On the Republican side, Ted Cruz made history by becoming the first Hispanic to win the Iowa caucus. Then Cruz said, "And the first Canadian! — I mean, nothing!" –Jimmy Fallon

This Sunday is Super Bowl 50, between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers. Of course it'll be weird when they do the coin toss before the big game, and the winner is still somehow Hillary Clinton. –Jimmy Fallon