This could plunge America into a huge crayon shortage (The only catch is...)

"Phoenix, Arizona is getting its first-ever Hispanic bishop. He will be appointed July 19, and then deported July 20." –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin and President Bush have new books coming out this fall. You know what that means? This could plunge America into a huge crayon shortage." –Jay Leno

"Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

each time they passed the blame, Goldman Sachs made a hundred million dollars (or as she calls it, her trilogy)

"The oil company said it was the rig company's fault. The rig company said it was Halliburton. And somehow, each time they passed the blame, Goldman Sachs made a hundred million dollars." –Bill Maher

"Just in time for Christmas, the queen of 'Drill Baby Drill,' Sarah Palin, has a new book out. It was announced this week. It's called, America By Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag. And for Sarah, that's two books in two years, or as she calls it, her trilogy." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Faith and Flag are the names she picked out if she ever has twins (Welcome to the Republican Party)

"Sarah Palin has a new book coming out called 'America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag.' Coincidentally, Faith and Flag are the names Palin picked out if she ever has twins." –Jimmy Fallon

"Prison inmates in Louisiana are now pitching in to clean up the Gulf Coast oil spill. At this point, the solutions have been dump chemicals in the ocean, shoot a bunch of garbage under water and release prisoners. If none of that works, they're going to have Al Qaeda come take a look at it." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

B-Sides (Ex. Film 12/28/18)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bill Murray knows it's Monday but... (You're Awesome)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Colts vs. Titans Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jaguars vs. Texans Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jets vs. Patriots Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Lions vs. Packers Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Cowboys vs. Giants Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Panthers vs. Saints Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Dolphins vs. Bills Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Falcons vs. Buccaneers Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Raiders vs. Chiefs Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Eagles vs. Redskins Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bengals vs. Steelers Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Chargers vs. Broncos Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Bears vs. Vikings Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Cardinals vs. Seahawks Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Browns vs. Ravens Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

49ers vs. Rams Week 17 Highlights | NFL 2018

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Blasters - American Music (Live at Farm Aid 1985)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Blasters - Marie Marie (Live at Farm Aid 1985)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: Unaccountable Bush Administration Officials Demand Accountability For Trump

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: Tucker Carlson Dismantles Pro-War Stooge

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimi Hendrix live at the Royal Albert Hall Full concert 1969

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Beatles Live At The Veilinghal, Blokker, Netherlands (Saturday 6th June 1964)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Beatles - While My Guitar Gently Weeps

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

As a bishop, do you always have to move diagonally? (stealing from the rich and giving to the poor)

"We have as a guest tonight Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I’m going to ask the question that's on everyone’s mind: 'As a bishop, do you always have to move diagonally?'" –Craig Ferguson

"'Robin Hood' opens this weekend. Robin Hood is famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, which made him a folk hero in 12th century England. Nowadays, we call that sort of thing 'communism.' If someone was stealing from the rich and giving to the poor in America, Glenn Beck would go insane — more insane." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: Bulls**t Poll: “Progressives” Prefer Biden Over Bernie

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Authorities became suspicious that some of the players were Canadian (Regulations are being written here)

"Earlier today, the British Petroleum oil executives — the guys responsible for the big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico — they testified before Congress. This was great. They were criticized by the same guys who approved drilling in the gulf." –David Letterman

"Did you see the new Miss U.S.A. pageant over the weekend. Miss Michigan won. Congratulations to Miss Michigan. And, well, it gets better. John McCain has already selected her as his 2012 running mate." –David Letterman

"Arizona may lose its hockey team. Apparently, here's what happened. Authorities became suspicious that some of the players were Canadian." –David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The Top 10 Stories Of 2018 They Don't Want You To Know!

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Unless she needs to rush to Washington to fix the economy (the vice presidential debate will be postponed till after the election)

Did you see that David Blaine, the street magician,  and so here was a guy who was hanging for 60 hours in Central Park overnight. They left him. He was just hanging there. They just left the guy hanging there. It's the same thing McCain did to me last night. Here's good news, Paris Hilton is on the program tonight. Unless she needs to rush to Washington to fix the economy, and a lot of people don't know this but Paris Hilton was actually John McCain's first choice for running mate. --David Letterman 9/25/2008

Yeah, McCain got out of last night's show. I wasn't so lucky. But McCain wants the presidential debate postponed until after the the big government bailout. Sarah Palin wants the vice presidential debate postponed till after the election. --David Letterman 9/25/2008

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He is planning to invade Wisconsin (Nothing gets past this guy! Like a steel trap!)

I was watching the news on television earlier and George Bush says the economy is in danger. Nothing gets past this guy! Like a steel trap! --David Letterman 9/25/2008

The price of milk has gone up 36 percent. Here's what happened, the cows have joined OPEC. Don't worry President Bush is already on the problem. He is going to fight the high cost of milk. He is planning to invade Wisconsin. --David Letterman 1/15/2008

You're not gonna believe this. Scientists in Minnesota, in a test tube with some chemicals have created a living beating rat heart. Now wait a minute. This is really good news, because rats will now no longer have to wait for a heart donor. --David Letterman 1/15/2008

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: Senate Security Expert Suspended From Facebook - RussiaGate Crumbling

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jim Croce Live In Concert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Natalie Merchant - David Bowie's Space oddity - Live 1999

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

David Gilmour - Comfortably Numb Live in Pompeii 2016

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Alicia Keys & John Mayer - If I ain't got you - Gravity (Live)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Kings Of Leon - Closer (Live on Letterman)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Kings Of Leon cover Robyn's Dancing On My Own

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Thirty Seconds To Mars - Stay (Rihanna) in the Live Lounge

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Sia - Breathe Me (Live At SxSW)

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

They say it's a natural part of development and there are three phases (That is the biggest...)

"Not looking good around the world, folks. A top investment analyst says China's economy will slow down and crash within the year. You know, they already have signs of trouble over there, too. Do you know the unemployment rate is a staggering 12 percent among 3-year-olds in China?" –Jay Leno

"Well, in Colorado one of the gubernatorial candidates has taken out a Craigslist ad to find a running mate. Is that a good idea? Hey, it didn't work when John McCain tried it." –Jay Leno

"Now, according to The Wall Street Journal, a new study says a parent should not be alarmed if their child tells a lie. They say it's a natural part of development and there are three phases — adolescent lying, young adult lying, and of course, oil executive lying. That is the biggest." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I'm beginning to think these are regular storms and we have a sh**ty boat (Can I play?)

"Why is it that whenever something happens to the people that should've seen it coming didn't see coming, it's blamed on one of these rare, once in a century, perfect storms that for some reason take place every f--king two weeks. I'm beginning to think these are not perfect storms. I'm beginning to think these are regular storms and we have a sh**ty boat." –Jon Stewart, on the stock market crash

Lewis Black, on Glenn Beck's complaints that critics of Arizona's immigration law have played the Nazi card: "Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel."

"It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler! Glenn Beck has Nazi Tourette's" –Lewis Black, on Glenn Beck's frequent use of Nazi analogies

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

To give you an idea how bad it's getting (the size of what, now?)

"Well, in China, the one child limit may be on its way out because Chinese experts say there aren't enough babies in the country anymore. To give you an idea how bad it's getting, some factories over there are now being forced to hire adults." –Jay Leno

"Hey, here's some good news. The price of oil has dropped by $12 a barrel. I mean, why buy it when you can just scoop it out of the water, huh?" –Jay Leno

"The three companies involved in the oil spill are Transocean, BP and Halliburton. They're all blaming the other guy. I was stunned. Oil company executives passing the buck. It was just shocking." –Jay Leno

"Congress told BP they can't label this catastrophic failure as an unpredictable and unforeseeable occurrence. See, Congress used that excuse for not catching the financial meltdown, so now they have to come up with their own excuse." –Jay Leno

"The Obama administration has revealed the size of America's nuclear arsenal. The U.S. has 5,113 warheads, approximately 1,000 of them aimed at China, 1,000 aimed at Russia, and the rest, of course, aimed at Fox News." –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The stars and stripes should be replaced by Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, running for their lives (we'll hire BP)

from May 2010

"At first the Taliban claimed credit and then as the week went on and we found out about this guy they said, ‘No, we have nothing to do with him.’ The Taliban said, 'The next time we want to wreak mass destruction on America, we'll hire BP.'" –Bill Maher, on the failed Times Square terrorist bombing

"This guy had some sort of training over there in Pakistan. You get the feeling when they showed him how to make the car bomb he said great, now how do I get the SUV on the plane." –Bill Maher

"New Rule: If President Obama is going to keep saying, 'We will not be terrorized,' he has to show he means it by letting us take our gels and liquids back on the plane. Hey, we're Americans, of course we're terrified—being afraid is what we do best. The stars and stripes should be replaced by Shaggy and Scooby-Doo, running for their lives." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”