He looks like he’s about to arrest Robin Hood (Oops!)

Did you see the beard on Ted Cruz? He looks like he’s about to arrest Robin Hood. --Seth Meyers

And there are all kind of State of the Union traditions most people don't know about. For example, every year, there's one administration official appointed as a designated survivor who stays in a separate location in case disaster strikes, and tonight that designated survivor was Energy Secretary Rick Perry. Can you imagine hearing the news that the Capitol had been blown up and everyone had been killed and then hearing the newscaster say, "And so now we go live for an address from President Rick Perry"? I mean, at least we know what he'd say. “Oops.” --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

As a bishop, do you always have to move diagonally? (stealing from the rich and giving to the poor)

"We have as a guest tonight Archbishop Desmond Tutu. I’m going to ask the question that's on everyone’s mind: 'As a bishop, do you always have to move diagonally?'" –Craig Ferguson

"'Robin Hood' opens this weekend. Robin Hood is famous for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, which made him a folk hero in 12th century England. Nowadays, we call that sort of thing 'communism.' If someone was stealing from the rich and giving to the poor in America, Glenn Beck would go insane — more insane." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”