"Fox News Channel has
launched a contest called 'Bloviate with Bill,' in which six viewers will be
flown to New York and given the chance to fend off O'Reilly's unwanted sexual
advances." --Tina Fey
"According to a study
at the University of Colorado, researchers say morning grogginess can give you
a feeling of being legally drunk and unable to think straight. They say this
condition can last anywhere from a few minutes in some people to as long as two
entire George W. Bush terms in office." --Jay Leno
"Bush said, 'We spent
some time talking about the Iranian issue and the desire to solve this issue
diplomatically, by working together' Of course, it s a lot easier to be
diplomatic when we only got two armies left to deploy Salvation and KISS."
--Jon Stewart, on Iran's nuclear weapons capabilities
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