You can tell bin Laden is hungry for power because now he thinks he's Oprah

"The Bush administration is asking Google to turn over all its records in a porn investigation. They want to know who has been using Google to look up pornography. You know what that means? We're all going to jail." --Jay Leno

"Earlier this week, President Bush met with the Belgian prime minister. Things got a little tense when the prime minister called for the U.S. to leave Guantanamo Bay. President Bush was so angry, he told the Belgian prime minister to shut his waffle hole." --Conan O'Brien

"In his latest audio tape message, Osama bin Laden recommends a book all Americans should read. You can tell bin Laden is hungry for power because now he thinks he's Oprah." --Conan O'Brien