"Osama bin Laden
released an audio tape today claiming more attacks on U.S. soil were imminent,
yet also offering a truce to help rebuild Iraq and Afghanistan, which I guess
is sort of an olive branch. A burning olive branch. It's a mixed message. Now,
first of all, Osama said he offered a truce because polls show the majority of
Americans are against the war. Here's what he doesn't understand. That's the
war in Iraq. Everybody over here is pretty much in favor of bombing the %#$@
out of you." --Jon Stewart
"The government is
scheduled to launch a mission to Pluto. Apparently this is President Bush's
last chance to find those weapons of mass destruction." --Jay Leno
"In a speech this
week, Hillary Clinton blasted the Bush White House as one of the worst in
history. I tell you, this is the hardest Hillary's been on any president she
wasn't married to." --Jay Leno
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