Donations

Friday, May 30, 2014

I'm starting to think maybe it's the car that has the problem




"A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs. And that's just selling lava lamps at Spencer's Gifts." –Jimmy Fallon 



"A woman got a DUI while driving a car that belongs to Toronto Mayor Rob Ford. So, I'm starting to think maybe it's the car that has the problem." –Jimmy Fallon



"This Rob Ford is something else. His car gets pulled over for DUI even when he's not in it. It's over. The machines have won. I mean, for God's sake, Rob Ford's Cadillac Escalade is drunk." –Jimmy Kimmel


A lie? Probably.



"It's primary season, which thanks to global warming, will soon be our last remaining season." –Stephen Colbert
"I mean, why would Hillary Clinton run? In the past month, she faced new Benghazi allegations, the return of Monica Lewinsky, Karl Rove speculating on her brain damage and the rumors that she only got into the White House by sleeping with the president. A lie? Probably." –Stephen Colbert

"Fans of 'The Price is Right' got angry at President Obama yesterday because a speech he was giving interrupted the show. So let me fill them in on what they missed: Three people you don't know got called down, and they were extremely happy about it. That's all you missed." –Jimmy Fallon


Thursday, May 29, 2014

quick resume


JOHN HULSE
723 Longfellow Rd.      Anderson, IN 46011             
email: jhulse23@att.net
 
           
            Titles include What's It All About?, dealing with world views on religion from the ancient Greeks to Einstein's Theory of Relativity and Nothing Sacred  (Women Respond to Religious Fundamentalism and Terror) about the treatment of women in Muslim countries. Distancing English: Frames in American Writinga theoretical exploration of how American literary production following independence tried to distance itself from British English and the fundamental insecurity of American literature following decolonization. In the Shadows of the Holocaust and Communism, Human Rights and the Catholic Tradition for Transaction Publishers, Breakout: The Chosin Reservoir Campaign for Fromm International, American Methods: Torture and the Logic of Domination for South End Press, Indian Yell by Dances with Wolves author Michael Blake.

The Kennedy Brothers: A Legacy In Photographs, Oxford’s Modern Science, Oxford’s World Mythology, A History of Edged Weapon Warfare, The Book of Weapons, Gustav and Alma Mahler: A Research and Information Guide, Montessori Comes to America, International Handbook of Penology and Criminal Justice, Outsider Within: Reworking Anthropology in the Global Age, Doctors: The Illustrated History of Medical Pioneers, The Americas Before Columbus, The Treaty of Portsmouth and Its Legacies, CyberShock, written by Winn Schwatau about computer hacking, and Kerouac and Friends and Programming in Visual Basic.NET for McGraw-Hill.

            Also Easy Prey written by former Secretary of Defense, William S. Cohen about the fleecing of America's senior citizens due to con artists and other scams. Other titles include The Best American Movie Writing 2001 edited by director John Landis, The Gangs of New York which was the basis for Martin Scorsese's film, Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, the autobiography of 60's R&B singer Eric Burdon, Bonfire of the Humanities and Ludwig von Mises: Economist for Intercollegiate Studies Institute. Forensic Evaluation of Traumatic Brian Injury for Taylor and Francis Group. The Ultimate Book of Sports Lists and Voices of Summer: Baseball’s Greatest Announcers.

             I am a published author of seven books. My work is in the fields of history, politics, poetry, education and popular culture. My short stories, essays, and poetry have appeared in more than two hundred magazines including Cinemagazine (Japan), Global Tapestry, Crescent Moon (England), Beneath the Surface (Canada), Rant, The New Press, True Love (NY), Deep, Chaminade Literary Review (HI), Touchstone (WI), Catharsis (CA), Catalyst (GA), Phase and Cycle (CO), and Notre Dame Press, (IN).

             My work has also appeared in 25 anthologies including, “Mythic America: An Anthology of New American Poetry” (Crescent Moon--England). I am also a featured poet in the 1997 through 2000 editions of The Poet's Market and have received awards from The Bay Area Poets Association, The Southern Writer's Association including The International Poet of Merit Award as well as The Shakespeare Trophy of Excellence.

             I also have a great deal of publishing experience serving as an indexer, editor and ghostwriter on a number of projects. I have worked for a number of publishers. Columbia University, McGraw-Hill, Sams Publishing, Sams.net, Que Publishing, Que Education and Training, Hayden, Brady, New Riders Publishing, Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, Fromm International, Grolier Publishing, Neuwirth & Associates, Thunders Mouth Press, Broadway Publishing, The Coriolis Group, Falcon Press, Lehigh University Press and O'Reilly & Associates.

             Other titles include Worship Without Words for Paraclete Press, Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel: Man of Spirit, Man of Action, Jews of the Amazon, Synagogues Without Jews by The Jewish Publication Society, A Financial-Agency Analysis of Privatization for Lehigh University Press, Breakout: The Chosin Reservoir Campaign for Fromm International, Extraordinary Women of Medicine, Who’s Better Who’s Best in Football, Damn Yankees: Yogi, Whitey and the Mick for Grolier Publishing, The Story of American Golf for Callaway Publishing, Designer’s Don’t Read, Cast Iron Cookbook, How to Start and Run a Commercial Art Gallery, Emotional Branding (the new paradigm for
connecting brands to people), A Pocket Guide to Environmental Bad Guys  for Neuwirth & Associates, Brushes with History, Campaign America '96, African History for Young Readers, Offbeat, Vibrations, Storied Stadiums for Thunders Mouth Press, Web Feet for Health for Rockhill Communications, Hiking the Great Basin National Parks, and The California Wine Country Insiders' Guide  for Falcon Press.  

            Computer titles include Web Design Using Dreamweaver, CorelDraw! 6 Unleashed, Using PageMaker 6, Using America Online with Your Mac, Special Edition Using Power Point for Windows, Windows 95 Smart Start, Special Edition Using Windows NT, Using Windows NT Workstation, Understanding Data Communications, Net Objects Fusion Design Guide, Oracle 8, Visual Java Script  for The Coriolis Group, Zero Administration Kit for Windows for O'Reilly & Associates. Several programming guides for languages like C, C++, Java, and Java Script, including the record-breaking best seller Teach Yourself Java in 21 Days, and books in the Laura Lemay Web Workshop series.

 Thank you again for your time.                 
                                                                        Best Regards,     John Hulse 

Friday, May 23, 2014

Or as bartenders put it, "We've been expecting you."



"In New Hampshire, a police commissioner who called President Obama a racial slur has resigned. He also publicly apologized to New Hampshire's entire black community, a guy named Steve." –Conan O'Brien



"The FBI has reversed its policy and will now hire people who have smoked pot in the past three years. When asked why, the FBI said, 'Because we couldn't find anyone who hasn't smoked pot.'" –Conan O'Brien



"Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, 'We've been expecting you.'" –Jimmy Fallon


Jeb Bush said it would be fun just to watch Chris Christie run




"Yesterday Chris Christie said he thinks it would be fun to run against Jeb Bush for the Republican presidential nomination. While Jeb Bush said it would be fun just to watch Chris Christie run." –Jimmy Fallon


"New Rule: Now that Clay Aiken's opponent in the Democratic primary for Congress died after a "accidental fall down the stairs", the Republican Aiken will face next might want to consider dropping out. Because this is Clay Aiken we're talking about. And apparently Clay Aiken is going to take what Clay motherfuckin' Aiken wants. Which might explain why every single face he's ever made looks like a guy who just pushed someone down the stairs." –Bill Maher


In a related story, everyone in Colorado is high



"Some NFL players actually criticized Michael Sam for kissing his boyfriend after getting drafted. Apparently NFL players aren't supposed to be in a gay relationship until they're sent to prison. Then it's fine." –Conan O'Brien



"In Colorado a man was accidentally released from prison 90 years too soon. In a related story, everyone in Colorado is high." –Conan O'Brien

"Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years ago, spent three days in the hospital, and maybe she has brain damage. You know, I don’t recall the Republicans being this concerned with mental fitness during the years when Reagan was talking to house plants in the White House." –Bill Maher




Friday, May 16, 2014

This is what we have been training for, people!



"What must it be like to work at a rehab facility and you see Toronto Mayor Rob Ford walk through the door? I can imagine: red lights start flashing, a siren goes off, someone yells, 'This is what we have been training for, people! Let's go!'" –Jimmy Kimmel


"The St. Louis Rams made history on Saturday by drafting Michael Sam, making him the first openly gay player in the NFL. Yep, an NFL player who's never been with a woman — or as Tim Tebow put it, 'Eh, it's been done.'" –Jimmy Fallon


"The first openly gay player has been drafted by the NFL. If you saw it on ESPN, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic. This is the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams." –Conan O'Brien





The beauty of any culture that allows us to drink in the daytime



"That is what's great about this country. We will celebrate the beauty of any culture as long as it allows us to drink in the daytime." –Jimmy Kimmel



"Yeah, Rob Ford said he likes rehab because it reminds him of the football camp he went to as a kid. Then his parents were like, 'Uh ... that was also rehab.'" –Jimmy Fallon



'A new report came out that calls Venezuela the most miserable country on earth. After hearing this, Kim Jung Un said, 'What do I have to do? What do you want from me?'' –Conan O'Brien







Looks like I got here just in time!



"Tomorrow night, reporters and celebrities will attend the White House Correspondents Dinner.' Of course, it'll be awkward when the reporters from CNN just spend all night trying to find their table." –Jimmy Fallon



"After taking a leave of absence, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently going to rehab in Chicago. That's right, he's headed to the Second City. As in, 'the second city where he'll be caught with crack.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Lawmakers in Illinois have started a new push to legalize recreational marijuana in the state. Rob Ford said, 'Looks like I got here just in time!'" –Jimmy Fallon 




He ain't missing that



"After rumors surfaced of another video of him smoking crack, Rob Ford said he's taking a leave of absence, and of course he's earned it. The guy's been up since 2004." –Conan O'Brien

"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced today that he is checking into rehab. He said he entered rehab this week to deal with the problem swiftly — and also because Monday is Cinco de Mayo, and he ain't missing that." –Jimmy Fallon



"This year the Colorado symphony will host a bring-your-own-marijuana concert series, called 'Classically Cannabis.' Or if you don't like classical music, you can attend the bring-your-own-marijuana concert called 'any other concert.'" –Seth Meyers





Is that a side effect of crack?



"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently back smoking the crack. There is a picture of him smoking the crack and a videotape is out as well. Is there a videotape out there of him not smoking crack?" –David Letterman





"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced he's taking a leave of absence to deal with issues related to substance abuse. A video was reportedly shot by his drug dealer. The guy is constantly being taped but never seems to notice the cameras. Is that a side effect of crack?" –Jimmy Kimmel



"Toronto mayor Rob Ford has decided to take a leave of absence to seek help. Specifically what he's seeking help with is getting more crack." –Conan O'Brien

Friday, May 9, 2014

Venezuela, the most miserable country on earth



"That is what's great about this country. We will celebrate the beauty of any culture as long as it allows us to drink in the daytime." –Jimmy Kimmel



"Yeah, Rob Ford said he likes rehab because it reminds him of the football camp he went to as a kid. Then his parents were like, 'Uh ... that was also rehab.'" –Jimmy Fallon

'A new report came out that calls Venezuela the most miserable country on earth. After hearing this, Kim Jung Un said, 'What do I have to do? What do you want from me?'' –Conan O'Brien






The Russian version of 'Wolf of Wall Street'



"Now Rob Ford is going to rehab. He didn't necessarily want to go to rehab but he has to go to rehab because he promised he would go to rehab. It's like a George Clooney engagement." –David Letterman


"On Saturday, Chris Christie tweeted that he had a colonoscopy just hours before he went to the White House Correspondents Dinner. Yeah, that's what you want to see at a dinner — Chris Christie after he wasn't able to eat for 24 hours." –Jimmy Fallon



"Vladimir Putin has signed a new law banning the F-word from movies. Now the Russian version of 'Wolf of Wall Street' is eight seconds long. You sit down and it's over." –Conan O'Brien


 

Looks like I got here just in time!



"Tomorrow night, reporters and celebrities will attend the White House Correspondents Dinner.' Of course, it'll be awkward when the reporters from CNN just spend all night trying to find their table." –Jimmy Fallon



"After taking a leave of absence, Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently going to rehab in Chicago. That's right, he's headed to the Second City. As in, 'the second city where he'll be caught with crack.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Lawmakers in Illinois have started a new push to legalize recreational marijuana in the state. Rob Ford said, 'Looks like I got here just in time!'" –Jimmy Fallon 

Monday is Cinco de Mayo, and he ain't missing that



"After rumors surfaced of another video of him smoking crack, Rob Ford said he's taking a leave of absence, and of course he's earned it. The guy's been up since 2004." –Conan O'Brien



"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced today that he is checking into rehab. He said he entered rehab this week to deal with the problem swiftly — and also because Monday is Cinco de Mayo, and he ain't missing that." –Jimmy Fallon



"This year the Colorado symphony will host a bring-your-own-marijuana concert series, called 'Classically Cannabis.' Or if you don't like classical music, you can attend the bring-your-own-marijuana concert called 'any other concert.'" –Seth Meyers





Is that a side effect of crack?



"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is apparently back smoking the crack. There is a picture of him smoking the crack and a videotape is out as well. Is there a videotape out there of him not smoking crack?" –David Letterman




"Toronto Mayor Rob Ford announced he's taking a leave of absence to deal with issues related to substance abuse. A video was reportedly shot by his drug dealer. The guy is constantly being taped but never seems to notice the cameras. Is that a side effect of crack?" –Jimmy Kimmel



"Toronto mayor Rob Ford has decided to take a leave of absence to seek help. Specifically what he's seeking help with is getting more crack." –Conan O'Brien

Monday, May 5, 2014

I knew if we waited long enough...





"A woman claiming to be Hitler's maid said that he pretended to adhere to a healthy diet but actually had an insatiable sweet tooth. I knew if we waited long enough, we'd eventually find some dirt on that guy." –Seth Meyers


"The Republicans in Congress voted no on the minimum wage. Wow, that's not the Republicans I know. I think they're confused. We're supposed to apply the economic sanctions to the Russians." –David Letterman

I hope that clears it up for you



"Lasers that control the weather are hard to explain. Basically they hit the cloud and create nitric acid particles that bind water molecules to create condensation nuclei. I hope that clears it up for you." –Craig Ferguson




"Donald Sterling, owner of the L.A. Clippers, got caught on tape allegedly spewing vial racist hate to his mistress. You know it's bad when you get caught on tape with your mistress and it's what you said that's the problem." –Craig Ferguson