"In New Hampshire, a police
commissioner who called President Obama a racial slur has resigned. He also
publicly apologized to New Hampshire's entire black community, a guy named
Steve." –Conan O'Brien
"The FBI has reversed its
policy and will now hire people who have smoked pot in the past three years.
When asked why, the FBI said, 'Because we couldn't find anyone who hasn't
smoked pot.'" –Conan O'Brien
"Pope
Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the
Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, 'We've been expecting you.'"
–Jimmy Fallon
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