"Some NFL players actually
criticized Michael Sam for kissing his boyfriend after getting drafted.
Apparently NFL players aren't supposed to be in a gay relationship until
they're sent to prison. Then it's fine." –Conan O'Brien
"In Colorado a man was
accidentally released from prison 90 years too soon. In a related story,
everyone in Colorado is high." –Conan O'Brien
"Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t
have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a
couple years ago, spent three days in the hospital, and maybe she has brain
damage. You know, I don’t recall the Republicans being this concerned with
mental fitness during the years when Reagan was talking to house plants in the
White House." –Bill Maher
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