"A woman claiming to be Hitler's maid said that he
pretended to adhere to a healthy diet but actually had an insatiable sweet
tooth. I knew if we waited long enough, we'd eventually find some dirt on that
guy." –Seth Meyers
"The
Republicans in Congress voted no on the minimum wage. Wow, that's not the
Republicans I know. I think they're confused. We're supposed to apply the
economic sanctions to the Russians." –David Letterman
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