"Unusual weather for New York City. Today it was 68 and foggy. No, wait a minute, that's me. I'm sorry, that's me." –David Letterman
"There are two sides in Iraq right now fighting. The side that hates us and the side that really hates us." --David Letterman
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Here's a bizarre story. I'll try to put this as delicately as possible. A woman in El Salvador was arrested for smuggling into prison a hand grenade inside her vagina. Although I guess technically at that point it's no longer a hand grenade. In a related story, earlier today former President Bill Clinton announced he's going to El Salvador to look for weapons of mass destruction." --Jay Leno
"July was the hottest month on record in Washington, D.C. But it's not the heat that gets you; it's the stupidity." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
Doug Jones is the first Democrat to win an Alabama Senate seat in 25 years – so a quarter of a century. The last time Alabama elected a Democratic senator, the biggest movie was "Aladdin," or, as Roy Moore calls it, "the perfect date movie." –Stephen Colbert
“Scientists warn heat waves will be longer, more intense and more frequent. So, good news for Mrs. Heat Wave.” — Stephen Colbert
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
In last night's speech, President Trump reportedly didn't stray from the teleprompter once. Friends are saying it's the longest Donald Trump has stayed faithful to anything. --Conan O’Brien
It is so cold in the midwest that truck nuts have actually moved up inside the truck. --Conan O’Brien
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
"Mitt Romney says if he is elected he will create 12 million new jobs in his first year in office – and that's just for people to do his taxes." –Jay Leno
"Tom DeLay will still get to collect over a million dollars in congressional pension money. This is what's so great about Congress. It is the only place in the world where robbers get to keep the money." --Jay Leno
"July was the hottest month on record in Washington, D.C. But it's not the heat that gets you; it's the stupidity." –Jay Leno
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
There’s some nasty weather moving up the East Coast right now, known as Tropical Storm Gert. When they heard, people named Gert were like, “Oh, come on, my life’s bad enough as it is!” –Jimmy Fallon
A 12-year-old boy is actually running one of Trump’s campaign offices in Colorado. When asked how an inexperienced child could be running things, the boy said, “Look, he’s the nominee and we’re stuck with him.” –Jimmy Fallon
In a recent interview, Jeb Bush revealed that his brother George gave him the nickname “tortoise” because he's making slow, steady progress. Though I think the bigger story here is that compared to George, Jeb is the slow one. –Jimmy Fallon
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
DNC is so broke it's ready to post feet picks on Only Fans because donors are avoiding them like Hunter Biden avoids child support. —Greg Gutfeld
Next week's heatwave is expected to smash dozens of records in New York, Philly and Chicago. In fact, Illinois Governor JB Pritzker has already declared his crotch a disaster area. And in New York Jerry Nadler has already tested positive for chafing. —Greg Gutfeld
https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html
“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth
and Orwell’s 1984.”
