I think that was a typo (because half an hour later they're horny again)

The US government has banned American personnel in China from having sexual relationships with Chinese citizens cuz half an hour later they're horny again. —Greg Gutfeld

According to a new book Obama didn’t want Kamala to run for president and actually worked to undermine her. Perhaps he wanted to remain the nation's first black female president. I think that was a typo. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Well, someone better keep her away from Nathan’s Hot Dogs (You may be high...)

Drew Barrymore says Mr Clean makes her uncomfortable cuz he's so sexual. Wow, Mr Clean makes her horny? Well, someone better keep her away from Nathan’s Hot Dogs, huh? —Greg Gutfeld

A Pennsylvania town painted curved road lines down a residential street to curb reckless driving. Although Kamala Harris felt perfectly at home. —Greg Gutfeld

Pete Hegseth has ordered that the standards be the same for both men and women in combat. Meaning men will now have to bring a sweater in case it gets cold. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wake me up if you get horny (a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people)

USA Today's GOP “Power Rankings” had some big shake-ups this week, with Marco Rubio in the lead and Chris Christie in the top five. Yep, Rubio is number one, while Christie is numbers two through five. –Jimmy Fallon

"Listen to this: In 2009, the F.B.I. reported a 20 percent decrease in the number of people robbing banks. There was, however, a huge increase in the number of banks robbing people." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Yeah, I’ve already got one of those. It’s called God (Horneytown)

Anthony Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, has decided to finally separate from him after his latest sexting scandal. So ladies: He’s single! –Jimmy Fallon

Mark Zuckerberg actually gave the Pope a drone. The Pope was like, “You mean it hovers above us and sees everything? Yeah, I’ve already got one of those. It’s called God.” –Jimmy Fallon

In an interview with CNN last night, Ted Cruz was asked about being Donald Trump's vice president and said, quote, "I have zero interest whatsoever." Which is also what Cruz's friends say when he invites them to dinner. “You could’ve just said no!” –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Unless, of course, that person is wearing a Yankees hat (We Said No Horny!)

Lawmakers in Boston are considering a new law that would make it illegal to call someone a bitch. Unless, of course, that person is wearing a Yankees hat. --Michael Che, SNL

An art student in Norway has trained her pet rat to make tiny paintings with his feet. Critics call the paintings bad, even by rat standards. --Colin Jost, SNL

What the hell happened to Rudy Giuliani? I’m a New Yorker. I remember Giuliani coming out on TV during 9/11, so calm and measured and he told us not to worry. And now I watch him on TV and I’m like, wait, did this guy even understand what was going on then or was he like Forrest Gump in Vietnam? Somehow Giuliani went from the Mayor of 9/11 to the 9/11 of Mayors. --Michael Che, SNL

A new poll shows that the best known Supreme Court justice is now Brett Kavanaugh. Sort of the same way that the best known sandwich mascot is Jared Fogle. --Colin Jost, SNL

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

horny men giveth, and horny men taketh away (You're the puppet!)

There are just eight days left until the election. So if anyone's still thinking of running, now's the time. –Seth Meyers

A Trump supporter was arrested in Iowa last week for in-person voter fraud after she attempted to vote twice. She said the first vote was to make America great. And the second one was to make America great again. –Seth Meyers

This October surprise comes right as Secretary Clinton was riding high in the polls in the wake of sexual assault accusations against Donald Trump. Truly, for the Clinton campaign, horny men giveth, and horny men taketh away. –Stephen Colbert