They also broke another record for largest number of people who've never seen b**bs (going for milk)

In amazing footage, Tesla demonstrated a new Roadster that uses rocket thrusters to launch off a ramp, flip over another car, and land safely. Or as Tiger Woods calls it, going for milk. —Greg Gutfeld 

The Mummy Book of the Dead is set for release in October 2027, surprising many people who thought Biden's memoir would be out sooner. —Greg Gutfeld 

Hundreds of Marvel fans dressed as Spider-Man at a New York ComicCon in an attempt to break a Guinness World Record. They also broke another record for largest number of people who've never seen boobs. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

One Dalmatian (mostly because they miss their mommies)

Nike is reportedly planning job cuts as it forecasts lower sales. After hearing the news, Nike factory workers in Asia began crying, but mostly because they miss their mommies. —Kennedy 

Disney's new CEO just kicked off a new round of layoffs, cutting hundreds of workers. So, look for Disney's newest reboot, One Dalmatian. —Kennedy 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He has no idea what that means either (It's oversized and it's flawed)

"President Bush is in Austria. He's trying to convince European leaders to eliminate agricultural subsidies in order to promote global free trade. Yeah, he has no idea what that means either." --David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton has got a brand new diamond ring. A brand-new, huge, enormous diamond ring. It's oversized and it's flawed, just like her husband. The last time a Democrat had a stone that big, it was passed by Ted Kennedy." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Five People You Meet in H*ll (the difference between a chalupa and a chimichanga)

"Mel Martinez, the Senate's only Hispanic Republican, announced he's stepping down. When asked why, Martinez said, 'I'm sick of the other Republicans asking me the difference between a chalupa and a chimichanga.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported that former Vice President Cheney is hard at work on his memoirs. It's called 'The Five People You Meet in Hell.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Iran is calling it a huge advancement in not letting women drive (The dog is being described as 'lucky.')

January 2013

"A Secret Service dog died during a fundraiser where Vice President Joe Biden was giving a speech. The dog is being described as 'lucky.'" –Conan O'Brien

"Iran has successfully sent a monkey into space. Iran is calling it a huge advancement in not letting women drive." –Conan O'Brien

"The price of a stamp goes up a penny today, to 46 cents. To make sure everyone received the news promptly, the U.S. Postal Service announced it by email." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

a free bootleg copy of the new Batman movie (My guess: a personality)

July 2012

"Every American athlete at the Olympics who wears the Chinese made uniforms will get a free bootleg copy of the new Batman movie." –Jay Leno

"In his new campaign ad, President Obama asks, 'What is Mitt Romney hiding?' My guess: a personality." –Jay Leno

"During a fundraiser at a country club in Mississippi, Mitt Romney said the GOP is a party focused on helping the poor. See, his wife Ann is right, he is funny. He can make jokes." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He also said he wants her to be six three with an Adam's apple (one of the songs is about sodomy)

In a recent interview Ricky Martin said that he wants to get married and he's looking for a woman who's quote, “ballsy and strong headed.” He also said he wants her to be six three with an Adam's apple. --Conan O’Brien 7/26/2000

Starbucks announced today that it will not sell Bruce Springsteen's new album because one of the songs is about sodomy. Starbucks said we don't want people listening to a song about getting screwed while they're paying $9 for a cup of coffee. --Conan O’Brien 5/5/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”