One Dalmatian (mostly because they miss their mommies)

Nike is reportedly planning job cuts as it forecasts lower sales. After hearing the news, Nike factory workers in Asia began crying, but mostly because they miss their mommies. —Kennedy 

Disney's new CEO just kicked off a new round of layoffs, cutting hundreds of workers. So, look for Disney's newest reboot, One Dalmatian. —Kennedy 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as Hunter Biden would call it, Tuesdays (he knew it definitely wasn’t Elton John)

Pete Davidson said that before going to rehab, he would do ketamine, acid, mushrooms, smoke weed, and eat pills. Or as Hunter Biden would call it, Tuesdays. —Tyrus 

Kristi Noem filed for divorce from her husband, citing irreconcilable differences despite the stereotype that men who wear enormous fake boobs go great with women who shoot dogs. —Kennedy 

An adopted 58-year-old man recently learned his biological father is rockstar Michael McDonald. He reportedly always wondered who his dad was, although he knew it definitely wasn’t Elton John. —Kennedy 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Coincidentally, that's the last thing Kamala said to Joe before he dropped out (Insect burgers)

A Minnesota woman's mugshot has gone viral because she really resembles Jennifer Lopez. In fact, she is such a dead ringer for JLo, it took police three hours to pat down her a**. —Kennedy 

Sydney Sweeney lost more than 200,000 Instagram followers after her naked commercial. All from wives whose husbands got boners watching it. —Kennedy 

The Trump administration is now considering paying stay-at-home parents $9,000 per child every year, causing Hunter Biden to finally ask to meet his seven-year-old. —Kennedy 

A Carnegie Mellon professor is on leave after her disturbing ex post surfaced, reading, "Die first, white man. Then ask yourself why I'm dancing.” Coincidentally, that's the last thing Kamala said to Joe before he dropped out. —Kennedy

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”